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Struggling with friendships?

Marcus

Hello all,

A bit of late night self reflection. I'm not very articulate.

I keep having low mood dips now and then. Feeling overall loneliness and seclusion. So I go out and re-connect with old friends, new friends and ect... But, once this mood wares off, I just go about my life and have no interest at all in any kind of interaction. I've got a partner whom I live with, but it feels different with them? I never grow tired of them and always want to make an effort. But I cannot find this same attitude to anyone else. I feel bad but not even towards my family.

Even friends whom I'm really close with. I just feel this great sense of drain whenever I try.

The thought of having a close knit group of friends, who I drink, craft, hike and go out with sounds amazing! But in practice it just seems exhausting. I dont really know how to describe it, but I just feel alienated and have this deep feeling of 'I just havent found the right group yet'.

Does anyone else struggle with these feelings?

I feel like it doesnt help that my interests don't really allign with anyone my age. Most people my own age just seem like... Dull and ambitionless? Like I said, not articulate.

  • Yes. Exactly. And yet those bouts of loneliness keep coming up. I wish I could just feel one way or the other. To be content with people or without them.

  • Yes, you have just summed up exactly how I feel about friendships. I also have a partner who I never grow tired of and feel relaxed and completely myself with. I do have friends I like to see occasionally, and although it's good to see them, afterwards I feel a bit drained and weirdly unsettled for a while.

    I also understand what you mean about finding a lot of people dull and ambitionless - I don't feel that way with my few friends, but I have felt it with many people I worked with.

  • Hi! I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, everyone deserves a support system of beloved friends. But honestly, I know what you mean. I’m not good at keeping friendships. I enjoy being alone and doing my own stuff. Adding to that, I can be socially awkward and my social battery gets drained quite quickly, doesn’t matter how much the person means to me, it’s still exhausting. Most of my admittedly short life I didn’t really have friends. It was out of pure luck that some of the nicest and most interesting people on earth found me and took me in. My close friends are the type of people you don’t see for weeks or months because nobody has the time or energy, but when you finally meet up, it’s as if you’ve never been parted and they’re always there if you need them. We sometimes text or call each other though.

    I hope, you’ll find someone like that. It was never my intention to really find friends, just seemed exhausting, but now that I have them in my life, it’s clear that they’re one of the greatest things that have happened to me. It was a long way though. Many disappointments and unexplained contact breaks… I’m still a bit worried about them breaking contact. Nevertheless, it’s manageable and helpfully, they don’t force me to meet up every weekend. That would be draining and they too have a low social battery.