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Getting married when you have autism

Programmer37

I was diagnosed with autism early on this year. I currently have a partner who's understands am not the chatty type.  She always tries to initiate a conversation with me. But am scared she might leave me at some point. 

My previous gf broke up with me for this exact reason. 

How do you my fellow autistics get along with their partners?

Parents

  • I've been with my wife for 32 years. My autism diagnosis came just before Christmas. I am who I am and she knows I prefer her to take the lead in social activities. I can push myself into appearing as a social butterfly but it has a toll. 

    She is quite happy in her own space and we operate independently to some extent.

    We met at a pub quiz back in my drinking days and we went from there. I'm still fond of a fact but I'm trying cut down on the drinking bit.

    We do talk but it tends to be surface stuff (day to day) and it's difficult to push further. (From both fronts) She's of the opinion that "everyone is a little autistic" and in her case she probably is but I'm not willing to kick that ants nest.

  • in reply to Hergé

    Our lives have led a very similar path, my wife and I get along much better now. We have been together for about 35 years.
    The not knowing why was much worse. I’m not so exhausted as I’m not masking all the time. I don’t always attend social events, if I do my wife will step in and steer a situation if she sees I’m struggling. Before I would get pushed into situations I wasn’t coping with, then normally end up drinking my body weight in beer so I seemed normal to everyone else.

    There are still parts of my struggles that I don’t go into with her, I sense a “your making it all about you.”

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  • in reply to Hergé

    Our lives have led a very similar path, my wife and I get along much better now. We have been together for about 35 years.
    The not knowing why was much worse. I’m not so exhausted as I’m not masking all the time. I don’t always attend social events, if I do my wife will step in and steer a situation if she sees I’m struggling. Before I would get pushed into situations I wasn’t coping with, then normally end up drinking my body weight in beer so I seemed normal to everyone else.

    There are still parts of my struggles that I don’t go into with her, I sense a “your making it all about you.”

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