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Getting married when you have autism

Programmer37

I was diagnosed with autism early on this year. I currently have a partner who's understands am not the chatty type.  She always tries to initiate a conversation with me. But am scared she might leave me at some point. 

My previous gf broke up with me for this exact reason. 

How do you my fellow autistics get along with their partners?

Parents

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

    You and your partner might find this book helpful. It specifically focuses on helping autistic + neurotypical couples to work on their relationships through improved mutual understanding and communication - complete with exercises that you can both complete and discuss, if you wish. I found it an excellent read:

    Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

    (It was written when "Asperger's" was still a diagnostic term, whereas it's now simply diagnosed as autism / Autism Spectrum Disorder).

    Caveat: between one issue / scenario and the next, the author keeps switching the identity of the autistic party. In one scenario, the male is autistic, but in the next it's the female, etc. This can be confusing, and I kept needing to check and remind myself "which partner is autistic this time?" But I felt the benefits from the book were still well worth the effort.

    The NAS also has some related advice here:

    NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people

    You could also consider couples counselling, ideally with a neurodivergent-experienced counsellor. (Relationships don't need to be at breaking point for counselling to be helpful).

Reply

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

    You and your partner might find this book helpful. It specifically focuses on helping autistic + neurotypical couples to work on their relationships through improved mutual understanding and communication - complete with exercises that you can both complete and discuss, if you wish. I found it an excellent read:

    Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

    (It was written when "Asperger's" was still a diagnostic term, whereas it's now simply diagnosed as autism / Autism Spectrum Disorder).

    Caveat: between one issue / scenario and the next, the author keeps switching the identity of the autistic party. In one scenario, the male is autistic, but in the next it's the female, etc. This can be confusing, and I kept needing to check and remind myself "which partner is autistic this time?" But I felt the benefits from the book were still well worth the effort.

    The NAS also has some related advice here:

    NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people

    You could also consider couples counselling, ideally with a neurodivergent-experienced counsellor. (Relationships don't need to be at breaking point for counselling to be helpful).

Children
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