Is autism an excuse for bad behaviour?

I think maybe once I was far more upset by the idea of upseting people inadvertantly than I am now. But as we moved from the 90/00s to the 10/20s and I saw people getting upset with things that I said that people were fine with 10 or 20 years ago, or when I saw people getting upset with me for saying or doing things that they were fine with when other people did it ... or indeed things they did themselves. ... Well I just kind of stoped caring. My position is if you are going to change the goal posts or apply the rules inconsistantly why should I even bother.

Nowerdays if I upset someone where I wasn't expecting to my first reaction is it is probably them not me who needs to do a bit of self examination.

There's a difference between a reason or excuse. Excuse implies you know what you are doing.  I suspect the vast majority of behaviours people around us (AND ourselves) may find "challenging" are things which cannot be helped due to the facets which make up the "triad of impairments". Being interrupted during flow; mis-interpreted communication; processing delays in thought, language, feeling and environment; too much input; executive function difficulties; difficulty regulating....the list goes on as to reasons for certain behaviours.

I'm completely out of the loop as to social media, famous people and if anyone is using it as an excuse so in my world it comes down to the understanding of those around me but most importantly myself. Tune others out who are not in my immediate circle.

It's also worth bearing in mind, some people do not know they are autistic but display "bad behaviours". I wonder where these people fit into it all. There's also children and adults with additional needs who may display more or differently challenging behaviour to those who are "high functioning" and safety is paramount.

I think at the end of the day, you know if you're being a  k n o b on purpose or not.

Edit - sometimes I know I am being one, but it isnt on purpose. If I could not be one at that given time I'd probably choose not to be.

en.m.wikipedia.org/.../Spoon_theory

Thank you.

Lotus said:

autistic people have a strong moral code and try to do what is right.

This very much depends on how you define "right", much as "bad" earlier in the conversation.

Consider a poster who strongy advocates for the reintroduction of a dictatorship in the UK and draconian religious laws from early last century because that was their sense of "right".

It can be very subjective so needs to be clearly defined before expecting others to follow your moral code.

It can be a slippery blighter when you try to pin down the definition of these terms despite us thinking they are obvious.

I think it's a reason for social ineptness AKA foot in mouth disease, but not for being a numpty. I agree with Pixiefox in that I think people use it as an excuse with the 'we're all a bit autistic', most autistic people I've met here or in fleshyland would be wishing the ground would open up and swallow them if they upset someone or were poorly behaved and probably wouldn't want to go out fir fear it would happen again.

We all know what bad behaviour is and yet we seem unable to define it, we all know there are exceptions to almost every rule and as autists we're expert at finding them, but it's not lazy excuses for rudeness or lack of consideration.

Well said.

I think that sometimes people who are narcissistic or sociopathic claim to be autistic and blame their behaviour on it. Or maybe they're just neurotypical and don't want to take blame for something they have done (the old "we're all a bit autistic" trope)

In my experience of conversing with autistic adults on here and the autistic people I've seen in TV documentaries, autistic people have a strong moral code and try to do what is right. If other people or environments cause them stress and they melt down or shut down, that's not bad behaviour - it's just a reaction to stimuli.

I agree with this completely. I think lots can get lost (especially by the general public who aren't always well educated) as to what shows as bad behaviours when it's an autistic trait.

Wolfhawk17 said:

What does the I haven't got spoons to expand mean?

It means that they don't have the energy and/or patience to explain further.

What does the I haven't got spoons to expand mean?

Unknown said:

This question hinges entirely on one's definition of what "bad behaviour" is.

This is key.

Society may think that us avoiding social contact, being terrible in conversations and wearing headphones in loud environments are all bad behaviour and are all clearly related to autistic traits.

Breaking laws and reglations because we don't think they are correct (think strong moral compass disagreeing with the rules) is also bad behaviour and should be considered as such.

Defining where "bad" ends and "free choice" begins is going to be essential for a meaningful conversation.

This question hinges entirely on one's definition of what "bad behaviour" is.  I haven't got spoons to expand.

No, it's not an excuse for bad behaviour.

I do think we need some reasonable consideration and accommodation (I'm very aware of this at work at the moment) so that we're not forced into unfortunate behaviours, but autism is *never* an excuse for violence, bullying or any other kind of "dodgy" behaviour.