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Tips for starting a new job

Wib

So I recently got offered a job in my dream industry to work in. I‘m so excited and start on the 6th January. Despite being excited I am quite anxious as in the past I‘ve noticed I struggle with change. There will be lots of change in my new role from new colleagues, shifts instead of doing a 9-5, being customer facing instead of working in an office, working weekends and wearing a uniform and having a bigger commute until I can move closer when my tenancy ends on my current place.Despite all this change I’m feel mostly positive and I’m so proud of myself for landing this position. I just wanted to see if anyone had any tips on what helped them adjust to a job change or a similar big change for themselves as I don’t want my anxiety over change cloud my enthusiasm and passion for the job.

Parents

  • I was always taught and have always practiced the rule of not “making free” regarding interacting with colleagues, keeping it strictly professional, even if this appears being aloof or stand-offish, while still remaining friendly, polite and professional - NEVER ever attend ANY staff parties such as Christmas Parties, as they are ALWAYS bad news, keep yourself to yourself and NEVER get involved with any colleagues outside of work including (especially) online - DONT EVER get involved in ANY gossip, even if it appears reasonable to do so - Always be on your guard against any attempts by some colleagues to be over-friendly and involve you in things that could be a trap into a potential bullying issue/situation, as this is one that is something that will require constant effort - defining, acquiring, setting and maintaining professional workplace boundaries is a constant challenge that requires constant effort, right from the start and on an ongoing basis, especially in these times, but reaps massive rewards in terms of the avoidance of problems and drama - avoid discussing personal life/details in work which could be used against you later on, as potential bullies and those with mental health issues including NPD - doing all of the above will be a good way to nip any potential bullying issues in the Bud and stop any bullying right there 

Reply

  • I was always taught and have always practiced the rule of not “making free” regarding interacting with colleagues, keeping it strictly professional, even if this appears being aloof or stand-offish, while still remaining friendly, polite and professional - NEVER ever attend ANY staff parties such as Christmas Parties, as they are ALWAYS bad news, keep yourself to yourself and NEVER get involved with any colleagues outside of work including (especially) online - DONT EVER get involved in ANY gossip, even if it appears reasonable to do so - Always be on your guard against any attempts by some colleagues to be over-friendly and involve you in things that could be a trap into a potential bullying issue/situation, as this is one that is something that will require constant effort - defining, acquiring, setting and maintaining professional workplace boundaries is a constant challenge that requires constant effort, right from the start and on an ongoing basis, especially in these times, but reaps massive rewards in terms of the avoidance of problems and drama - avoid discussing personal life/details in work which could be used against you later on, as potential bullies and those with mental health issues including NPD - doing all of the above will be a good way to nip any potential bullying issues in the Bud and stop any bullying right there 

Children
  • in reply to IrishInManchesterUK
    IrishInManchesterUK said:
    doing all of the above will be a good way to nip any potential bullying issues in the Bud and stop any bullying right there

    It has been my experience that actively avoiding all those "social" activities to that extent paints a big target on your back by your colleagues then later by management as you get noticed by avoiding your colleagues so much and they start to wonder what is wrong with you.

    My understanding of it is that the social "pack" is something instinctive in neurotypicals and a refusal to participate seems to indicate you think they are not worthy of you or that you are afraid of them.

    It is a kind of extension of the reason so many of us were bullied as children - we stand out and those with more social "power" will focus on making you fit or leave the group.

    Your very attempts at avoiding them at every opportunity will just make you stand out more and result in assorted societal punishments such as bullying, exclusion from promotions and even being "encouraged" to leave by having your workplace environment made unpleasant.

    I always found that you need to give just enough to not appear so antisocial - attend the odd party, listen occasionally to the gossip but don't contribute and have the occasional friendship at work that is low level.

    It is effectively camouflage.

    This is based on my 32 years working in 12 companies (I spent a decade working as a contractor so had quite a lot of shorter term roles) and having spent quite a bit of time post diagnosis reflecting on the interations related to my condition.