Tips for starting a new job

This is really good advice. Thank you so much !!

Wib said:

Do you have an tips or experiences to share with disclosing a diagnosis in the workplace ?

My experience is that it is a net negative - far too many neurotypicals will see you as defective, deficient or otherwise undesirable to be around.

Most are OK, mainly because they know little about autism but there are enough a-holes to make life difficult.

It can vary very much from company to company. The Civil Service for example is much more accepting but private sector companies are much less so.

I would stick with letting HR know and your line manager ONLY if you need Reasonable Adjustments made - if it doesn't affect you then there is no need for them to know.

Just basing this off my experience.

Thanks for the advice. I like the tip of giving myself a set time to adjust. I think the initial change is what will be hardest for me. But once my new work routine because my new normal routine I’ll be good. I have disclosed my diagnosis when asked about if I have a disability and I’m going to mention it in my medical on Thursday. I think I will discuss it with my line manager as well to ensure I’m getting the right support as I really want to thrive in my new role. Not sure if I will disclose it to regular colleagues we shall see.

Thank you so much. And I have a 3 week training course which is definitely making me feel more relaxed knowing I have a set adjustment period. I‘m genuinely so excited but it’s going to be a big change so just got to make sure I’m being patient with myself.

Thank you so much for the tips. I disclosed my diagnosis in my initial application and on some other equality and diversity questions whilst doing my onboarding paper work. I have a medical on Thursday and I plan to disclose it there as well. I’m not sure if I should discuss my diagnosis with my line manager or if I need to mention it to anyone else. I have a 3 week training period where I have mentioned to the assessor I’m autistic so I may need certain things explaining different ways. I only got my diagnosis recently so it’s my first time going into a job with my diagnosis. I think I’m going to tell whoever I feel is relevant to tell and see what happens. Do you have an tips or experiences to share with disclosing a diagnosis in the workplace ?

I base all of the above on my 30 years in supermarket retailing and because of my life experiences that I’ve had to learn all of these harsh lessons the hard way - every time I’ve let my guard down after a false sense of security has been created, I’ve always been badly burnt, as my experience has been that supermarkets attract highly dysfunctional personality types as described 

Congratulations on your new job! I missed out on my dream job a couple of days ago. :(  Anyway, I think 'be prepared to make mistakes' is great advice. I made an absolute clanger at work a few months ago, and the stress meant a week off. Be kind to yourself. Every day is a change and carries the potential for mistakes to happen. Keep being proud that you got the job, and remember that you can't be expected to do everything right, especially in the beginning.

IrishInManchesterUK said:

doing all of the above will be a good way to nip any potential bullying issues in the Bud and stop any bullying right there

It has been my experience that actively avoiding all those "social" activities to that extent paints a big target on your back by your colleagues then later by management as you get noticed by avoiding your colleagues so much and they start to wonder what is wrong with you.

My understanding of it is that the social "pack" is something instinctive in neurotypicals and a refusal to participate seems to indicate you think they are not worthy of you or that you are afraid of them.

It is a kind of extension of the reason so many of us were bullied as children - we stand out and those with more social "power" will focus on making you fit or leave the group.

Your very attempts at avoiding them at every opportunity will just make you stand out more and result in assorted societal punishments such as bullying, exclusion from promotions and even being "encouraged" to leave by having your workplace environment made unpleasant.

I always found that you need to give just enough to not appear so antisocial - attend the odd party, listen occasionally to the gossip but don't contribute and have the occasional friendship at work that is low level.

It is effectively camouflage.

This is based on my 32 years working in 12 companies (I spent a decade working as a contractor so had quite a lot of shorter term roles) and having spent quite a bit of time post diagnosis reflecting on the interations related to my condition.

I was always taught and have always practiced the rule of not “making free” regarding interacting with colleagues, keeping it strictly professional, even if this appears being aloof or stand-offish, while still remaining friendly, polite and professional - NEVER ever attend ANY staff parties such as Christmas Parties, as they are ALWAYS bad news, keep yourself to yourself and NEVER get involved with any colleagues outside of work including (especially) online - DONT EVER get involved in ANY gossip, even if it appears reasonable to do so - Always be on your guard against any attempts by some colleagues to be over-friendly and involve you in things that could be a trap into a potential bullying issue/situation, as this is one that is something that will require constant effort - defining, acquiring, setting and maintaining professional workplace boundaries is a constant challenge that requires constant effort, right from the start and on an ongoing basis, especially in these times, but reaps massive rewards in terms of the avoidance of problems and drama - avoid discussing personal life/details in work which could be used against you later on, as potential bullies and those with mental health issues including NPD - doing all of the above will be a good way to nip any potential bullying issues in the Bud and stop any bullying right there 

I’m a little concerned here, as not disclosing an autism diagnosis to HR, trade Union and/or management from the outset can be viewed as problematic in some industries due to legal compliance issues, even though I appreciate that not disclosing to colleagues is a separate issue, as you could be accused later on of obtaining a job on false pretences, even though not disclosing is understandable - I’m inclined to advise speaking to citizens advice or a legal advice centre here, in order to avoid problems later on 

Congratulations on getting your new job! Really exciting to be working in an industry that is your dream!

I changed jobs in April and it did take me some time to adjust. So I guess my advice is to hang in there if it gets tough. I first gave myself 6 weeks to get through. Then when it began to feel easier after that 6 weeks, said to keep going for another 6 weeks. And now I've been there 8 months.

I did not disclose to work or my colleagues that I am autistic. Not at interview and including not to occupational health. 

I found being accepted by colleagues as the most difficult. Not just in my imagination. But being told by one of my colleagues that I cam across as stand offish and that I was better than them. I think I am still not really accepted by them, but it is okay.

I like self help and read 'Just the Job' by Tim Stringer that was reviewed in the NAS magazine. Well it was listened to as I tend to do audiobooks. I found that helpful.

I hope that you have a great new start and that it goes really well from 6th Jan onwards.

xx

Wib said:

I just wanted to see if anyone had any tips on what helped them adjust to a job change

Are you going to disclose your autism to them?

My tips are:

1 - make time in your schedule for recharging yourself. Allow an hour or two in the evenings to start with and at least a full day on the weekend until you find a new rythm.

2 - learn mindfulness and use it to process the things which are causing you anxiety.

3 - view the constant change as part of the fun and change is the new "staying the same". Think of it as always a new challenge, find the positives and focus on these and deal with the negatives as just a part of the task in hand to be dealt with and on to better things. Don't look back at old patterns as they are not on the menu any more.

4 - keep a close eye on changes to your energy and mood. Any sustained downturn in these is a sign burnout is on its way so maybe use some of your salary to get a therapist to work on these with.

5 - Keep an eye on what you have come from - the challenges you overcame, the issues you took under control and realise that you can cope with these things that are getting on top of you. You have the power so find ways to apply it and reinforce your self worth.

6 - a bit cheesy this one, but I always used to go into work with a bit of mental preparation, put on a big smile and greet my colleagues in the morning and be positive about what the day has in store. This has roots in psychology and the positivity helps to subtly alter your frame of mind to a positive on.

That's it for now - congrats on the new job

Congratulations, that’s awesome! 

Just some initial thoughts..,

It may help to focus on really looking after yourself outside of work - spoon theory style - you may need to lower demands away from work, to best cope with the initial change and becoming familiar with the role, people, place, travel, etc. Immerse yourself in familiarity away from work, and easy and calming things. 

Perhaps have plans to check-in on yourself at work, and to pace yourself, things like time to be alone, time to breath, or do grounding, and finding safe spaces to have these periods of calm - even if just for 5 mins here and there, little and often if it helps.If they know you’re on the spectrum, it could help to discuss how these moments could be planned (if they’d help you that is :) )  

It may help to plan your longer commute to work for you - read something inspiring, listen to relaxing music - anything that’s of interest, but not using up resources I.e. social media, endless scrolling!!

Be kind to yourself, we all start a new job as novices, it takes time to develop - be positive and kind when you reflect; you’ll do so many great things, focus on those every day! 

Enjoy, and good luck! 

Congrats!!

I would say be prepared to make mistakes, and be ready to forgive yourself for making those mistakes. Everyone in the office will have also made mistakes early on, and I'm sure they'll be willing to forgive you too. Remember that everyone is human: yourself, colleagues, and customers.