Hi everyone. I've just joined and would like to say hi.

My name is Thomas. I've ended up being very aggarophobic and It seems to be getting worse as I get older. I've been messed about through my life and always treated as there's something wrong with me. This year I've been out the house about 15 times and most of those have been to take the black bin bags of rubbish I've accumulated for weeks/ sometimes months before I build up the courage to get out my front door. I don't know any of my neighbours (6 houses are above my house) and I've lived here for 5 years. I've heard my neighbours say I'm anti social and not normal when they've been discussing me in the landing. I've always found it very difficult to interperate written directions, and general talk I find it vey diffucult to understand what something is telling me in writing as it seems not specific or could mean multiple things. I keep my curtains closed at all times, even in summer. and I always only have a small low illuminating light. on, that would seem dark to most people. I don't like bright lighting.  My nephew has quite bad asbergers syndrome, and I see a lot of his traits in myself and his dad (my brother)  This is the first time I've thought to look on the internet for a chat room for people on the autism spectrum. I'd just like to say hi to everyone and thanks for this site being here.

Parents
  • Hi Thomas and welcome to the forum.

    Do you think you could speak to your doctor on the phone? I would recommend getting their help with your issues. Wishing you all the best.

  • Hi Pixiefox, and thank you for welcoming me to the forum. I've moved house so many times in the past 15 years and have been here 5 years at this house. I called my housing dept and asked if I could get a move from here as my neighbours now realise that I'm very withdrawn and basically live like a hermit and talk about me.  they said I need a letter from my doctor, I had just joined the practice and got a new doctor. I asked her for a letter for my housing and she became quite angry on the phone and said 'your housing knows not to ask me for letters, and I asked 'who should I ask?' and she said 'I don't know' and passed me to the receptionist who said, 'if we give you a letter, we'd have to give everyone a letter and you'd all be in the same place anyway' So since then, I haven't asked them for anything as I feel they aren't really interested in my wellbeing. I asked if they had read my files and they said they hadn't They have me down as depression and anxiety, but I know my depression and anxiety are side effects of my undiagnosed condition I can be quite happy at times knowing I'm safe in my house. I miss so many things like my mums birthdays, keeping in touch with people, I usually sleep over the festive period and find myself being up all night and sleeping only when exhaustion kicks in normally. I think I prefer the quiet of night, as no one is around to knock on my door or call me, and my head is clearer at night I'm sorry for going on, I have so much to hopefully get to discuss and hope others can associate with my situations.  Thank you!

  • I think that 'autistic burnout' can easily be mistaken for depression - even by us before we truly knew ourselves. That thing of feeling OK at home/in your own company is significant. I heard someone say that for autistic people it's the neurotypically-skewed environment (most of society!) that's disabling to us. It compels us to be square pegs in round holes... at least somewhat. There are sympathetic corners of 'out there' (maybe a walk in the park, a quiet library, a cosy quiet shop at an un-busy hour) that you could maybe try in small doses. On the other hand, you're doing no harm exactly as you are. So i hope I'm not sounding prescriptive! We all have to do what we can to cope, know thyself and all that...

  • Yes, I've learned to do what I can, when I can, and I try not to be too hard on myself, but I always am. and yes, I totally feel the square peg in a round hole scenario.  I've dreamed of being in the local Park in Summertime for the past 4 years, I'd imagine picking a spot early out of the way near a tree, and have a straw hat over my head and eyes and soaking up some sunshine. maybe one of these summers. I really appreciate all the kind words from all of you folks. Thank you.

Reply
  • Yes, I've learned to do what I can, when I can, and I try not to be too hard on myself, but I always am. and yes, I totally feel the square peg in a round hole scenario.  I've dreamed of being in the local Park in Summertime for the past 4 years, I'd imagine picking a spot early out of the way near a tree, and have a straw hat over my head and eyes and soaking up some sunshine. maybe one of these summers. I really appreciate all the kind words from all of you folks. Thank you.

Children
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