Hi everyone. I've just joined and would like to say hi.

Hi Thomas and welcome to the forum.

Do you think you could speak to your doctor on the phone? I would recommend getting their help with your issues. Wishing you all the best.

Hi Pixiefox, and thank you for welcoming me to the forum. I've moved house so many times in the past 15 years and have been here 5 years at this house. I called my housing dept and asked if I could get a move from here as my neighbours now realise that I'm very withdrawn and basically live like a hermit and talk about me.  they said I need a letter from my doctor, I had just joined the practice and got a new doctor. I asked her for a letter for my housing and she became quite angry on the phone and said 'your housing knows not to ask me for letters, and I asked 'who should I ask?' and she said 'I don't know' and passed me to the receptionist who said, 'if we give you a letter, we'd have to give everyone a letter and you'd all be in the same place anyway' So since then, I haven't asked them for anything as I feel they aren't really interested in my wellbeing. I asked if they had read my files and they said they hadn't They have me down as depression and anxiety, but I know my depression and anxiety are side effects of my undiagnosed condition I can be quite happy at times knowing I'm safe in my house. I miss so many things like my mums birthdays, keeping in touch with people, I usually sleep over the festive period and find myself being up all night and sleeping only when exhaustion kicks in normally. I think I prefer the quiet of night, as no one is around to knock on my door or call me, and my head is clearer at night I'm sorry for going on, I have so much to hopefully get to discuss and hope others can associate with my situations.  Thank you!

You are Welcome.

After reading your posts again I have had some ideas about things you could try.

1. You say your doctor's practice have you down as "depression and anxiety" but have they offered any treatment for this? There are medications that help some people to cope better and your doctor should help with this.

 2. Have you taken any online autism screening tests? The AQ50 is one of the tests used by the medical profession, and if you got a high score on that you could use this to support a request for referral for a professional autism diagnosis, if you would like one. The test is available here:

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

3. I understand how you feel about your neighbours, but moving might not help. Try to ignore what they say - there is no such thing as "normal"  and not talking to people doesn't make you a bad neighbour. We're all different on here, but we are all valid human beings. Hopefully talking with us will help you with this.

4. You say you prefer being awake at night and I get that, because it's quieter, but our brains are programmed to prefer being awake during the day and being nocturnal can make many people depressed. Try changing to being awake during the day, and use headphones/earplugs if noises from outside bother you. You could take your rubbish out late just before you go to bed, or during weekdays if most of your neighbours work - whichever is the most likely time not to see other people.

5. Shopping - do you get groceries delivered by doing an online shop? If so, try ordering only the essentials - no treats - then schedule a day each week to go to the shop nearest to you to buy a couple of treats, so you have a reward for going out.

6. You say you miss your mum's birthday and usually sleep over the festive period. Could your mum come and visit you on her birthday, your birthday and Christmas?

Keep.reading posts on here and ask us any questions you might have.

That's one of the signs that an autistic person would instantly say, "you've passed!". Ambiguous questions that make total sense to an non-autistic person.

Hi Pixie! I took the online test and scored 34 out of a possible 50. 

Hi Pixie, I just had to let you know, I started taking the test, and the second question, straight away seems so confusing, This is part of my condition, sentenses like this have muliple meanings to me, So funny 

Hi Pixiefox. I've moved around so much in recent years. Although I've stayed at this house for just over 5 years, When I asked my doctor for help the one and only time, they hadn't read my files but offered no help and have not contacted me once. I'm quite isolated with my problems and have no one to talk to about these things. 

I will take the screening test, Ty

The moving that I constantly do is like hoping my lottery ticket comes up, I know, But one day I might get lucky and find somewhere that I can open up a bit more, I understand what you're saying, but I've estranged myself so much up this 4 story building that I'd rather try to move again. It's a false hope in so many ways, but It's my way of trying to get better in my mind. The house i stay in faces North, and on top of that, I have my windows and curtains closed all the time, It would be nice to have some sunshine, that's something I miss a lot, I haven't been out in Summertime for the past 4 years that I remember. I've beacame burned out to the point that I've became accustomed to accepting this is my life I'm 59 years old now, and I feel the last 15 years or so have flown by me, being so aggoraphobic and not interacting with the world. 

I don't understand fully why i end up being up through the night, Maybe its because I don't go out, and the night also saves me from this ordeal. and also the peace and quiet of night is soothing for me. I end up lapping myself with the hours, wake at 8 am sometimes through my cycles and I last about a week, then I revert back to day sleeping and awake at night. I try to sneak outwith my rubbish bags at around 4:30 am when I remember and my head is not racing with relived images and moments from my past, that happens from the moment i wake up, and prevents me from sleeping too. I just leave a blanket on my sofa and have slept there for as long as i can remember, I dont use my bed or bedroom, thougfh I have a very comfortable memory foam mattress. I've never liked bedrooms strangely, Mainly because I go to bed and lie there awake with my head racing. Sleep comes when i get physically exhausted

Yes, I do 99% of my shopping online and have it delivered, even then I'm russhing to get the groceries from the delivery person, before any of my neighbours come out or pass by. I'm very bad at thinking of going to the shop at a pre destined time, these things happen on the spur of the moment sometimes, a lot of times I want to go to the local shop, but give in to the fear.

I would love to have the courage and abilty to visit my Mum more often, My mum just turned 90 years old last week, I hope to get to visit her for xmas, but in reality, I Feel I won't manage. My Dad commited suicide many years ago, on Boxing day. And I think he must have had what he has passed on to me and my brothers and sister. So it's a very emotional time for me, and sleeping through the day helps me not be part of it all I know this is not a great way to deal with things. I'm just quite burned out at this stage in my life 59yo I'm sorry if my messages aren't making any logical sense

Hi Pixiefox. I've moved around so much in recent years. Although I've stayed at this house for just over 5 years, When I asked my doctor for help the one and only time, they hadn't read my files but offered no help and have not contacted me once. I'm quite isolated with my problems and have no one to talk to about these things. 

I will take the screening test, Ty

The moving that I constantly do is like hoping my lottery ticket comes up, I know, But one day I might get lucky and find somewhere that I can open up a bit more, I understand what you're saying, but I've estranged myself so much up this 4 story building that I'd rather try to move again. It's a false hope in so many ways, but It's my way of trying to get better in my mind. The house i stay in faces North, and on top of that, I have my windows and curtains closed all the time, It would be nice to have some sunshine, that's something I miss a lot, I haven't been out in Summertime for the past 4 years that I remember. I've beacame burned out to the point that I've became accustomed to accepting this is my life I'm 59 years old now, and I feel the last 15 years or so have flown by me, being so aggoraphobic and not interacting with the world. 

I don't understand fully why i end up being up through the night, Maybe its because I don't go out, and the night also saves me from this ordeal. and also the peace and quiet of night is soothing for me. I end up lapping myself with the hours, wake at 8 am sometimes through my cycles and I last about a week, then I revert back to day sleeping and awake at night. I try to sneak outwith my rubbish bags at around 4:30 am when I remember and my head is not racing with relived images and moments from my past, that happens from the moment i wake up, and prevents me from sleeping too. I just leave a blanket on my sofa and have slept there for as long as i can remember, I dont use my bed or bedroom, thougfh I have a very comfortable memory foam mattress. I've never liked bedrooms strangely, Mainly because I go to bed and lie there awake with my head racing. Sleep comes when i get physically exhausted

Yes, I do 99% of my shopping online and have it delivered, even then I'm russhing to get the groceries from the delivery person, before any of my neighbours come out or pass by. I'm very bad at thinking of going to the shop at a pre destined time, these things happen on the spur of the moment sometimes, a lot of times I want to go to the local shop, but give in to the fear.

I would love to have the courage and abilty to visit my Mum more often, My mum just turned 90 years old last week, I hope to get to visit her for xmas, but in reality, I Feel I won't manage. My Dad commited suicide many years ago, on Boxing day. And I think he must have had what he has passed on to me and my brothers and sister. So it's a very emotional time for me, and sleeping through the day helps me not be part of it all I know this is not a great way to deal with things. I'm just quite burned out at this stage in my life 59yo I'm sorry if my messages aren't making any logical sense