How do you cope with having to spend time with people you don't like?

Hi, hope everyone is doing good.

I'm in a tough situation at the moment. My Mum has this boyfriend who spends a lot of time at our house, and I am forced to spend time with him and do things with him. My mum is forcing me to be around him and 'build a relationship' with him. But I do not like this man. He has emotionally abused my mum, and apparently he has apologised and now changed and not done it for a while, but I can't seem to get over it and forgive what he did to her. This is the biggest reason why I don't like him but I also just don't like how he's so full of himself and always thinks he knows everything, and he has a really annoying sense of humour and is sarcastic ALL the time. How can I make it easier to spend time and be around him, which I have to do? I feel really trapped and I feel like I have no options. Spending time with him is really difficult because I feel like I have to be really careful of what I say in case he takes something the wrong way. I can't be myself and I am constantly having to smile and pretend everything is okay so that he doesn't take it personally and get upset/mad at me or my mum if I don't look constantly happy. I think it's linked to my strong sense of justice in that it feels really unfair that I'm expected to just forgive him for everything and I feel like I shouldn't have build a relationship with him becauase he doesn't deserve it. But my mum insists that he has changed and he isn't abusing her any more. This may be true but I still can't seem to get over it because in my head, if he was a good person or truly cared about her, he wouldn't have done it in the first place. Any advice? Thank you in advance!

Parents
  • Take up whittling? 

    You could give this bloke and your mum a single chance to come good on their assertion that he has chanegd his behaviour, (that can happen I've seen it and done it myself) and keep making the effort for her sake, but no second chance, that'd be crazytime.

  • Thank you for your reply. I think my only option is to give him a single chance as he has so far not done anything else abusive to her. I think I just have to tell myself it's for my mum's sake and not his, because that makes me feel a bit better about it. However, if it happens again I'm not giving him any more chances!

Reply
  • Thank you for your reply. I think my only option is to give him a single chance as he has so far not done anything else abusive to her. I think I just have to tell myself it's for my mum's sake and not his, because that makes me feel a bit better about it. However, if it happens again I'm not giving him any more chances!

Children
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