Jealousy, personal space, need to know

Being in a long term ND-ND relationship myself, two things occur to me after reading your post:

1. It appears that appears your husband might have self esteem issues. I don't think it's that he doesn't trust you, I think he feels he doesn't deserve you. You could try telling him why you love him and highlight his good points, and maybe suggest him going to counselling.

2. From what you say about his background, he may have inherited the predilection for mental health issues, including anxiety disorder. Maybe he could discuss things with his GP and try medication to see if that helps him control his emotions better and be less anxious about the idea he might lose you.

I wish you both all the best.

 Yes, sadly I think so too with the self esteem issue and prone to anxiety.

I fear his own viewed self value comes from the wrong place.

I've tried to pin point where this comes from in relation towards me. Where did I go wrong. 

In retrospect I am surprised no hospital staff realized when I got severely ill a period in our lives (for some time they did not know if I would survive or not, this is something you could die of) that he had a control issue. 

I only today remember fragments of it, how he was. Nothing or no one could get pass him. 

When I had my burnout and he came to realize what it was about he took charge once again.

I've felt quilt over these two periods in our lives. He would say he would feel fine once I felt fine. I know that's called co-dependency. I did that to him. I never intended to.

When I began to get better I learned that he was more unwilling to let go of my old responsibilities that had now become his, because as he told me he was afraid it would be too much for me. I would tell him I was not ill anymore. I was not a little girl. It was too much for him to take on. Let me do my part. 

In retrospect I realize it was not only about him fearing it would be too much for me, but for him to feel he was in control of things. 

Step by step I took "my stuff" back, but it was a struggle. 

I don't like to remember the feeling of being a "little girl" and when he does things that remind me of those days I don't know if it is out of his own concern, old habit or still a need for control. 

If I should make one example it is that he would always trace me through my phone my whereabouts when I had my burnout and when I had that turned off (once I found out i even had that thing on in the first place, I did not know before I even had) there was this strong reaction to it, how I could have it turned off. 

When I enforced it that it was going to be off and stay off, as I did not like the feeling of it being on, I then came to realize later on after having been somewhere (and he knew where we were) by his expressions that he still knew, but this time through tracing our child through the child's cellphone. 

I've always been where I would tell him where I've been. I never once lied to him. Everything he's done so far for as long as he has done them to "check up" has only been a confirmation to what he already must know. 

I will try to talk to him again to see if I can pursue him. 

Much appreciated. 

 Yes, sadly I think so too with the self esteem issue and prone to anxiety.

I fear his own viewed self value comes from the wrong place.

I've tried to pin point where this comes from in relation towards me. Where did I go wrong. 

In retrospect I am surprised no hospital staff realized when I got severely ill a period in our lives (for some time they did not know if I would survive or not, this is something you could die of) that he had a control issue. 

I only today remember fragments of it, how he was. Nothing or no one could get pass him. 

When I had my burnout and he came to realize what it was about he took charge once again.

I've felt quilt over these two periods in our lives. He would say he would feel fine once I felt fine. I know that's called co-dependency. I did that to him. I never intended to.

When I began to get better I learned that he was more unwilling to let go of my old responsibilities that had now become his, because as he told me he was afraid it would be too much for me. I would tell him I was not ill anymore. I was not a little girl. It was too much for him to take on. Let me do my part. 

In retrospect I realize it was not only about him fearing it would be too much for me, but for him to feel he was in control of things. 

Step by step I took "my stuff" back, but it was a struggle. 

I don't like to remember the feeling of being a "little girl" and when he does things that remind me of those days I don't know if it is out of his own concern, old habit or still a need for control. 

If I should make one example it is that he would always trace me through my phone my whereabouts when I had my burnout and when I had that turned off (once I found out i even had that thing on in the first place, I did not know before I even had) there was this strong reaction to it, how I could have it turned off. 

When I enforced it that it was going to be off and stay off, as I did not like the feeling of it being on, I then came to realize later on after having been somewhere (and he knew where we were) by his expressions that he still knew, but this time through tracing our child through the child's cellphone. 

I've always been where I would tell him where I've been. I never once lied to him. Everything he's done so far for as long as he has done them to "check up" has only been a confirmation to what he already must know. 

I will try to talk to him again to see if I can pursue him. 

Much appreciated.