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Jealousy, personal space, need to know

Table1

Do you guys know how to go abou this? 

Background I am autistic and suspect very much my husband is too, as well I suspect our child is. 

My husband comes from a family where his father has his issues and his Mother I suspect is autistic. There are some unhealthy ways his father is doing to his wife and family. I think his ways has done som damage to his son, my husband. 

I feel like we have a good marriage for most part, but I notice my husband have this strange jealousy of me which surface when ever he under some sort of strain from his family and by that I mean ultimately his father. 

The jealousy is so weird to me, and when he feels better it is as if it gets better or temporarily goes away. But it always returns. 

Is there something I can do? He can do? It gets stronger in association with his father. As if he gets more alike his son then. Now we are approaching the holidays and I hope he does not get like that, but I dread it.

As he likes order and is a man of habits I do not know how hard it Will be for him to not do this in secret, checking up on me, etc.I think he does it to make him fel more safe in the end of the day.

Parents

  • Have you and your husband considered couples counselling?

    Your husband's jealousy would be a red flag to me too. In my opinion, I feel a marriage should be based on trust. The fact that your husband needs to know where you are and what you're up to suggests (to me) that he doesn't trust you.

    Some years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who always wanted to be within earshot when I spoke on the phone to relatives or friends. If I had arranged to meet up with a friend or relative, he would feel jealous if he wasn't included. In addition, he would want to know what we had talked about, and if he had featured in those conversations. Over time, I began to despise him and feel suffocated. He wasn't violent or aggressive, but I felt as though he was trying to isolate me from my friends and family.

    I think your husband could benefit from therapy to help him to deal with his insecurities before they get any worse.

Reply

  • Have you and your husband considered couples counselling?

    Your husband's jealousy would be a red flag to me too. In my opinion, I feel a marriage should be based on trust. The fact that your husband needs to know where you are and what you're up to suggests (to me) that he doesn't trust you.

    Some years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who always wanted to be within earshot when I spoke on the phone to relatives or friends. If I had arranged to meet up with a friend or relative, he would feel jealous if he wasn't included. In addition, he would want to know what we had talked about, and if he had featured in those conversations. Over time, I began to despise him and feel suffocated. He wasn't violent or aggressive, but I felt as though he was trying to isolate me from my friends and family.

    I think your husband could benefit from therapy to help him to deal with his insecurities before they get any worse.

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