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The relationships and intimacy strategy thread

Peter

The purpose of this thread

Most autistic people seem to have issues with their love lives and forming romantic relationships. But most of us seem to really want it. So why don't we pool our knowledge?

This is a place to share what has and hasn't worked for you when it comes to finding sex and or love. Happy married? Tell us how it happened. Did your pick up line crash and burn? Tell us here.

This is the place to brainstorm on how to help autistic people improve their love lives whether that's a one night stand or finding the one and only love of their lives.

What is this thread not!

This is not a looking for a date thread.

This is not the place to moan about how afully hard dating is etc. Productive discussion please. Even if that's just learning from others mistakes.

Parents

  • See I can only tell you what didn't work. Waiting didn't work. When I fall for a girl I tend to fall quite hard. The feelings linger for years eventhough there was never a relationship as such.

    The first girl I fell for was older than me. Say 15/16 to my 13 years. I really didn't have an 'in' with her. We both went to the same youth group but we didn't have much in common. But I thought she was so cool. I spend 2 ish years trying to figure out the perfect way to get her atention and ask her out. Which was stupid I should have just gotten it over with and asked her out.

    It actually screwed up things later on a couple of years later when a girl from a difrent youth group asked me out. This girl when I think about it was actually very physically atractive but at the time I hadn't really thought of her as a love interest. We'd had one or two really long enjoyable interlectual conversations about science (my special interest) and then she spontainiously asked me out. I was a bit intimidated by someone I'd only met 2 or 3 times doing that but in retrospect I wonder if maybe her stratergy was better. I turned her down. Partly because how quickly she moved intimidated me but mostly because I was infatuated with this other girl and it seemed wrong to me at the time to date a girl when my head was full of another girl even if that girl was unatainable.

    This anecdote provides my first two 'lessions.'

    1. Don't let perfect be the enamy of good. It's a good idea to have your eye on multipul girls at the same time and
    2. don't wait too long to aproch them.

    Ironicly the girl who asked me out was 17/18 and thought I was older than I was. Maybe she was expecting a more mature reaction from me.

Reply

  • See I can only tell you what didn't work. Waiting didn't work. When I fall for a girl I tend to fall quite hard. The feelings linger for years eventhough there was never a relationship as such.

    The first girl I fell for was older than me. Say 15/16 to my 13 years. I really didn't have an 'in' with her. We both went to the same youth group but we didn't have much in common. But I thought she was so cool. I spend 2 ish years trying to figure out the perfect way to get her atention and ask her out. Which was stupid I should have just gotten it over with and asked her out.

    It actually screwed up things later on a couple of years later when a girl from a difrent youth group asked me out. This girl when I think about it was actually very physically atractive but at the time I hadn't really thought of her as a love interest. We'd had one or two really long enjoyable interlectual conversations about science (my special interest) and then she spontainiously asked me out. I was a bit intimidated by someone I'd only met 2 or 3 times doing that but in retrospect I wonder if maybe her stratergy was better. I turned her down. Partly because how quickly she moved intimidated me but mostly because I was infatuated with this other girl and it seemed wrong to me at the time to date a girl when my head was full of another girl even if that girl was unatainable.

    This anecdote provides my first two 'lessions.'

    1. Don't let perfect be the enamy of good. It's a good idea to have your eye on multipul girls at the same time and
    2. don't wait too long to aproch them.

    Ironicly the girl who asked me out was 17/18 and thought I was older than I was. Maybe she was expecting a more mature reaction from me.

Children
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