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The relationships and intimacy strategy thread

Peter

The purpose of this thread

Most autistic people seem to have issues with their love lives and forming romantic relationships. But most of us seem to really want it. So why don't we pool our knowledge?

This is a place to share what has and hasn't worked for you when it comes to finding sex and or love. Happy married? Tell us how it happened. Did your pick up line crash and burn? Tell us here.

This is the place to brainstorm on how to help autistic people improve their love lives whether that's a one night stand or finding the one and only love of their lives.

What is this thread not!

This is not a looking for a date thread.

This is not the place to moan about how afully hard dating is etc. Productive discussion please. Even if that's just learning from others mistakes.

Parents

  • I always found meeting a partner really awkward, it just seemed that my peers were excellent at getting girlfriends and I somehow just seemed uninteresting to women. I am socially awkward and don’t like to be touched. I found alcohol to be a big social crutch, I did eventually meet my wife and have been married for over 30 years, this hasn’t always been easy, I can be very distant if I’m immersed in a project, even 30 years on my wife still asks before hugging me, it does make me feel guilty that she has to ask but otherwise it overwhelms me too much. We get on much better now we know why I’m different. Social occasions used to create massive problems between us.

    My wife earns more money than I do, I don’t ‘sponge’ off her, she makes sure things are paid as I have never mastered that one. I do work nearly full time but now understand why I get so exhausted and take longer to do things, I put a lot of thought into everything.

    I still keep in contact with an old female school friend, we normally message two or three times a year, it’s normally just what’s been happening in our lives.  She said to me about 2 years ago, “didn’t you ever realise how much I had the ‘hots’ for you?” I had never noticed anything, I hadn’t noticed any of the signs, I just thought she was being nice to me.

Reply

  • I always found meeting a partner really awkward, it just seemed that my peers were excellent at getting girlfriends and I somehow just seemed uninteresting to women. I am socially awkward and don’t like to be touched. I found alcohol to be a big social crutch, I did eventually meet my wife and have been married for over 30 years, this hasn’t always been easy, I can be very distant if I’m immersed in a project, even 30 years on my wife still asks before hugging me, it does make me feel guilty that she has to ask but otherwise it overwhelms me too much. We get on much better now we know why I’m different. Social occasions used to create massive problems between us.

    My wife earns more money than I do, I don’t ‘sponge’ off her, she makes sure things are paid as I have never mastered that one. I do work nearly full time but now understand why I get so exhausted and take longer to do things, I put a lot of thought into everything.

    I still keep in contact with an old female school friend, we normally message two or three times a year, it’s normally just what’s been happening in our lives.  She said to me about 2 years ago, “didn’t you ever realise how much I had the ‘hots’ for you?” I had never noticed anything, I hadn’t noticed any of the signs, I just thought she was being nice to me.

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