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Autistic 'lightbulb moments'

Deleted User

Since your diagnosis/self realisation, have you had times in your life when suddenly you realise why you did something in the past ie because of your autism.

There have been many for me, but recently the hair cutting thread made me realise why I hated hairdressers so much even though everyone else I knew seemed to look forward to going.

I was the only person in my 30s I knew to have a mobile hairdresser come to my house - it seemed to be older people or those with mobility problems who went for this service.

Have you had moments when everything clicks into place/another piece of the puzzle of your past?

Parents

  • Since my discovery, I have had loads of these moments, and I've realised why:

    - I cannot stand ticking clocks, I can often hear small sounds others don't notice, and sounds such as drilling or kids screaming is highly distracting and anxiety inducing.

    - I am clumsy, can't catch a ball and walk into things or bang my elbows on doors.

    - I feel anxious in crowds, hate standing in queues, and don't like being touched by people I don't know well.

    - I rehearse in my head what I'm going to say in a conversation or email, over and over to try to perfect it.

     - I used to feel anxious when invited to a social event or asked to go to an off site work meeting/training session, and tried to think up an excuse not to go that wouldn't upset anyone or get me into trouble.

    I have to plan meals for every day of the week too, so I know in advance what I'm cooking and what I need to buy. I cannot understand it when I have asked someone what they were having for dinner that day and they said "I don't know" - I felt like saying "but don't you have a PLAN?" !Smile

Reply

  • Since my discovery, I have had loads of these moments, and I've realised why:

    - I cannot stand ticking clocks, I can often hear small sounds others don't notice, and sounds such as drilling or kids screaming is highly distracting and anxiety inducing.

    - I am clumsy, can't catch a ball and walk into things or bang my elbows on doors.

    - I feel anxious in crowds, hate standing in queues, and don't like being touched by people I don't know well.

    - I rehearse in my head what I'm going to say in a conversation or email, over and over to try to perfect it.

     - I used to feel anxious when invited to a social event or asked to go to an off site work meeting/training session, and tried to think up an excuse not to go that wouldn't upset anyone or get me into trouble.

    I have to plan meals for every day of the week too, so I know in advance what I'm cooking and what I need to buy. I cannot understand it when I have asked someone what they were having for dinner that day and they said "I don't know" - I felt like saying "but don't you have a PLAN?" !Smile

Children
  • in reply to Lotus

    Rehearsing what to say is something I do all the time, particularly if I have to make a phone call (my least favourite form of communicating). I can't keep up with people though, so it just seems like I'm the quiet one in a group but I'm actually trying to listen to everyone at once and think what to say next, plus remember things like my body language and to say the right thing - how other people manage all this instinctively I just don't understand.

    I suppose what I learned is that a lot of myself is hidden away now that I understand what masking means.

    Something else I've spotted recently at work. Since I use MS Teams for video calls, it has started making the video of myself more prominent, meaning I can see a lot more of my own face. I've had the odd comment in the past about how I don't express a lot, and seeing it more often really distracts and annoys me.

  • in reply to Lotus

      . The rehearsing what to say is interesting. The person I'm talking to just thinks I'm not paying attention, but really I'm busy rehearsing what to say.

  • in reply to Lotus

    You sound an awful lot like me. Loud ticking clocks are awful, I'm torn between them and florescent tubes for the worst noise.

    Currently I'm trying to avoid a work Xmas event, dress up and have your photo taken, it'll be fun, er not for me it won't.