• Replies 20 replies
  • Subscribers 86 subscribers
  • Views 1087 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

37 years old, recently dignosed and figuring it out

gkimmelman

Hi everyone

I'm 37 years old living in London. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with ASD which came as a big surprise to me. I never thought I had Autism. I always knew I was different and believed it was something like ADHD. Compared to my friends I always had some bad "struggles" which have led to some bad results: I dropped out of school, I dropped out of university, and in recent years I've been leaving job positions after 1 year. I've known I've been "struggling" with my mental health, and there have been behavioural patterns I've identified in recent years, however I have always been made to believe I have to just "get on with it" and couldn't allow my mental health to get in the way

It was only this year when my line manager, who disclosed to me that he got diagnosed with ASD during his childhood, asked if I was Autistic. Fast forward a few weeks, I have my first appointment with a therapist, and within the first 30 minutes they pause and ask if I was (diagnosed) Autistic. At this point I knew something was up, and the therapist assisted with a fast track ASD assessment.

I'm lucky for having an Autistic manager, and a mental health professional who was able to identify it, otherwise I would continue my life unknowing and not getting the necessary support.  I am also lucky at the time of the assessment I had private healthcare through the company I worked for, and I only had to pay a small excess fee (compared to the whopping £3000+ charge)

After getting the diagnosis there were plans on getting some support, however I left my job and consequentially lost the private healthcare which covered all the costs.

Now I'm trying to get the support again, but through a combination of NHS referral and self educating with books.

The diagnosis has been hard to swallow and I'm slowly coming to terms with it. There's a feeling of frustration and sadness that If I had been diagnosed earlier in my life, then I would generally be doing better in life both personally and professionally.

Looking back I can identify many behaviours as Autistic (or caused by being Autistic) which have caused some real struggles in my life. I've struggled to hold down jobs, and my former partners have struggled with me in relationships.

I'm trying to keep positive, and I still don't know what I'm doing or how to go about it. Hopefully the NHS will be able to provide support, and I'm looking to participate in local support groups in London and meet and connect with other neurodivergents.

That's me.

So how about you?

Can you relate to my journey?

Regardless of whether you can or not: What has your journey been like? Have you got the support you needed? If not, what you been doing to get that support?

And for those in employment: has your employer (and line manager) been supporting you and, if so, how?

Parents

  • Good morning and welcome to the club!!!!

    I as in the same situation where I thought there was no way I was autistic. My daughter had been diagnosed so as support I thought I may aswell have a dabble as I have always struggled throughout my life, and bam, concrete evidence in every department in my diagnosis. So my other daughter who again we thought there was no chance of ASD and as also diagnosed.

    i went for counselling and to be honest by the end of the sessions I just lied about my burnout and struggles as she didn’t get it.

    i have gone on a self healing and discovery journey this year, I haven’t worked since January after working my whole life. I wish I could keep it this way.

    so I have committed a lot of my time to me, fitness, ice baths meditation etc 

    I olay a lot of golf to quite a good standard so have hyper focused on that. 
    I know I have to go back to work at some point but the break has brought me out of my burnout.

    as for help? You’re in the best place, don’t be down heartened by the lack of support and understanding. I thought being diagnosed I would feel different or wake up and go oh I’m autistic. But you have been you for 37 years and myself 41 there is no way I would ever change anything. I embrace that I’m different and I have a great excuse no to socialise when I’m not in the mood. I spend a lot of time by myself and I’m currently on a 28 day detox from alcohol as that’s the only thing I think makes me feel normal. So I want to do a stint and embrace my autism. Alcohol has made me feel so bad over the years and now I’m feeling the benefits of not drinking.

    if you ever want a chat, have any questions I will always be here!!!

    One day you will embrace it, after all the questions and doubts about yourself. 
    job wise, you got to do something you love or are actually interested in, as long as you have enough for the billls and food, what else do you need??

    be happy 

  • in reply to Tigernew40

    It's such an affirming experience to finally find out why your life has been difficult or why you struggled with things other people seemed to find easy. 

    I have a similar story to you. Stopped working after being more than burnt out to be honest, it was more like a breakdown in the end. Counselling doesn't work for me because they just don't seem to get my point of view, a ND counsellor would be amazing but they're so expensive. 

    I wish I could stay out of work but will have to go back at some point. I've vowed never to put up with the way I was previously treated again though. I will disclose and if they don't want me, that's fine, I'd rather not work and live on basics than be in that situation again (very bad workplace bullying). 

    I'm working on understanding that some of the problems were caused by misunderstanding and communication, so I'd rather be honest and open in the future so people know if I've said something they deem too blunt or haven't understood what they meant, I'm not doing it on purpose to antagonise them. 

    Well done with giving up the alcohol. I know I used it a lot to cope with 'networking' and work functions. Again, I plan to change that in the future and find the ability to say no.

Reply
  • in reply to Tigernew40

    It's such an affirming experience to finally find out why your life has been difficult or why you struggled with things other people seemed to find easy. 

    I have a similar story to you. Stopped working after being more than burnt out to be honest, it was more like a breakdown in the end. Counselling doesn't work for me because they just don't seem to get my point of view, a ND counsellor would be amazing but they're so expensive. 

    I wish I could stay out of work but will have to go back at some point. I've vowed never to put up with the way I was previously treated again though. I will disclose and if they don't want me, that's fine, I'd rather not work and live on basics than be in that situation again (very bad workplace bullying). 

    I'm working on understanding that some of the problems were caused by misunderstanding and communication, so I'd rather be honest and open in the future so people know if I've said something they deem too blunt or haven't understood what they meant, I'm not doing it on purpose to antagonise them. 

    Well done with giving up the alcohol. I know I used it a lot to cope with 'networking' and work functions. Again, I plan to change that in the future and find the ability to say no.

Children