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Coming out / disclosing

Deleted User

Not long after my diagnosis I told a handful of people at work about it, people I’m relatively close to (in work terms) and that has been okay.

But as I have become more aware of what challenges me, I have found masking with other coworkers more and more frustrating. Having to either suffer unnecessarily or justify myself to people.

I’ve been close to another full on burnout for a couple of months and I know if something doesn’t change, I’ll end up having another extended absence.

So it feels like the risks of “coming out” are now outweighed by the risks of not.

Have any of you “gone public” at work and, if so, how did it go? Am I about to commit an act of liberation or self-sabotage?

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  • I am still a students, but I'm also a very busy volunteer, and I'm 'out' in both contexts in different amounts. 

    At uni I'm very much out, partly because my body language and tone can be 'off' enough that if I don't tell people why, they tend to come to the conclusion that I dislike them. Which isn't intended. Also to explain why I'm not going to all the social events.

    As a volunteer my manager and my close colleagues know, partly so I can avoid places which will be particularly overwhelming sensorily. I don't tell literally everyone I meet though. I was initially cautious to disclose in this setting as it's really focused on communication skills, and not everyone understands the nuance of 'this is script and checklist based communication and I'm really good at that because that's partly what I do normally'. However two of my trainers when I was learning were open about being autistic, and they're both very well respected in the organisation. So that helped me feel a lot more comfortable. So being 'out' can be an advantage to others as well.

    In short, I'd say if you can't manage the masking, coming out may be a good idea. Not everyone understands, but in my experience enough are willing to learn that it's a net benefit. 

  • in reply to Fibonacci Squid

    I’ve managed masking for the last 25-30 years but for various reasons I just can’t any more, or at least not at a cost I can bear.

    And while masking has been very effective for my career it has completely failed me in my personal life. I think it’s time to balance things out a bit.

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