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Coming out / disclosing

Deleted User

Not long after my diagnosis I told a handful of people at work about it, people I’m relatively close to (in work terms) and that has been okay.

But as I have become more aware of what challenges me, I have found masking with other coworkers more and more frustrating. Having to either suffer unnecessarily or justify myself to people.

I’ve been close to another full on burnout for a couple of months and I know if something doesn’t change, I’ll end up having another extended absence.

So it feels like the risks of “coming out” are now outweighed by the risks of not.

Have any of you “gone public” at work and, if so, how did it go? Am I about to commit an act of liberation or self-sabotage?

Parents

  • If only every workplace was so understanding. I disclosed to my manager and nothing, nada, diddly squat! I asked why my managers had not approached me to discuss reasonable adjustments. A number of weeks later I was informed by email that my autism was long-term and therefore I should be well aware of what barriers I had at work. This caused a meltdown and I have not been back at work since. In a subsequent HR meeting my manager told me to stop rolling my eyes and making faces when she was talking. I asked for reasonable adjustments to help me and have been rejected or told that it would be too difficult to manage. Even when awareness training was funded via ATW I was told that for it to be effective then I would need to disclose before they would implement it.

    This situation is over 18 months old now and still ongoing. I am effectively being managed out of my department to god knows where and what I will end up doing is slowly destroying me. This is so unhealthy for me the uncertainty is crippling. I am working from home on temporary placements and have found that I am barely functioning. it is becoming very difficult to control my anxiety and I barely leave the house.

    The funniest thing about this, well you have got to laugh, is that my employer proclaims itself to be a disability confident employer and the NHS!

    So whilst it is good to hear about all the positives about disclosing, my experience has been the opposite.

    I say this not to moan (well a little) but to provide a balance to peoples experiences.

  • in reply to Mr T

    I wouldn’t say my experience has been positive, it just hasn’t been particularly negative. Nobody has openly attacked me although I do worry that have been slightly sidelined.

    But I haven’t had any accommodations at all. Such as it is it’s been one or two people I’m closer to just  being a bit more understanding.

    This is why I want to be more open about it - so people understand that there are certain ways of working that I just can’t accept any longer.

    I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time though, and you do highlight the risks of disclosing.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I have had my struggles at work mainly due to interactions with staff and my blunt communication. I had hoped that by disclosing and asking for adjustments that I would be supported enough for me to do my job the best of my ability. I read up on the Equality act etc and believed what was written in official documents such as the EHRC statutory guidelines. However every time I raise something HR just say it doesn't apply to their policies etc.

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  • in reply to Deleted User

    I have had my struggles at work mainly due to interactions with staff and my blunt communication. I had hoped that by disclosing and asking for adjustments that I would be supported enough for me to do my job the best of my ability. I read up on the Equality act etc and believed what was written in official documents such as the EHRC statutory guidelines. However every time I raise something HR just say it doesn't apply to their policies etc.

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