Newly diagnosed AuDHD

Hi, I'm a 38yr old female. Just formally diagnosed with autism and ADHD. I'm currently in burnout from being undiagnosed for so long, I reached my limit mentally.

I now realise that unconscious masking, unbearable rumination and rejection sensitivity disphoria have been destroying me. I was always told I had an anxiety disorder but I knew there was more to it.

I feel so fragile that I don't know where to start. I'll be doing coaching with my assessment team but in the meantime how am I supposed to be around people?...not that I have friends....just family/work people.

I don't know how it can work, people have known me a certain way for so long, how can I all of a sudden present as totally different? I feel I've trapped myself in someone I'm not and I'm stuck there.

Any advice would be appreciated as I don't know a single other neurodivergent person.

Parents

Pip.Rose. 7 months ago

Katie!! And Community

im so glad to have read your story. Thank you for sharing, my experience is a carbon copy and it’s so helpful to be understood.

I am 40 and due to a lifetime of looking after those with higher needs. (Both parents severely mentally ill) My mental health has been overlooked professionally and by myself.

its not in my head, I’m not just anxious and now my parents are both past the devastation that brings and the aftermath of no routine I can no longer mask the difficulty that’s been with me my entire existence.

im sorry I can’t offer you guidance Katie. Only emended empathy.

How are you being supported and how did you get your diagnosis?

I’m starting a horticultural design course soon.. Hopefully a more in keeping way of life that no longer requires me to mask as much.

still be you. With alterations of and boundaries of where your energy goes. Nature has been my way of being me healing from burn out.

I hope you find peace Katie

Reply

Pip.Rose. 7 months ago

Katie!! And Community

im so glad to have read your story. Thank you for sharing, my experience is a carbon copy and it’s so helpful to be understood.

I am 40 and due to a lifetime of looking after those with higher needs. (Both parents severely mentally ill) My mental health has been overlooked professionally and by myself.

its not in my head, I’m not just anxious and now my parents are both past the devastation that brings and the aftermath of no routine I can no longer mask the difficulty that’s been with me my entire existence.

im sorry I can’t offer you guidance Katie. Only emended empathy.

How are you being supported and how did you get your diagnosis?

I’m starting a horticultural design course soon.. Hopefully a more in keeping way of life that no longer requires me to mask as much.

still be you. With alterations of and boundaries of where your energy goes. Nature has been my way of being me healing from burn out.

I hope you find peace Katie

Children

Katie_m_web86 7 months ago in reply to Pip.Rose.

Thanks for responding. It's very hard being undiagnosed for so long. I feel failed by my GP's as I've been going to them about anxiety since I was 16 and they never once mentioned anything to do with neurodiversity. It took a stranger to hear the things I was saying and point out the issue! I paid for private diagnosis as I wasn't willing to wait any longer.

ASD and ADHD - now I've started atomoxetine and my anxiety feels so much calmer.

I too love nature and I'm a keen gardener. I previously paid for an RHS course but of course couldn't get through it!

I've done gardening for others but really it takes the joy away for me being paid for it. I like to do it for myself. It's like your own world of solitude and beauty that you can create for yourself. No wonder I love it as I hate the real world! X