Moving or staying and fighting

If you move is there a reasonable chance he will come after you wherever you end up?

If the answer is yes then there is no point moving. Stand and fight

I would consult with a lawyer who specialises in this field and get a restraining order requested and listen to their advice on how to make it incredibly difficult and painful for your ex to come after you.

If you think there is any physical risk to you or your daughter then get some self defence classes for your own peace of mind.

Lastly I would get a therapist (I assume you are autistic so make sure they are experienced in this area) and work through the fears you have and they should be able to help you process and deal with this so you can have a better state of mind.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

Hiya, thank you very much for your reply.

If I move I would change my identity through deed poll. I wouldn't be able to do it for my daughter because there is child arrangements order in place from the court. I have no idea what's the best solution: stay and fight or run. I tried for so many years to stand and fight.. I got nowhere, because my ex does whatever he wants to anyway.

I am trying to find solicitor but the cost is mind blowing. I do not qualify for legal aid . 

I had 26 sessions trauma counselling. My counsellor was brilliant and she knew about my diagnosis. She told me where to seek any more support but I haven't referred myself there yet. It's hard because with all that stuff going on, work, running a house... I feel if I take any more on I will soon end up with a major breakdown.

Hiya, thank you very much for your reply.

If I move I would change my identity through deed poll. I wouldn't be able to do it for my daughter because there is child arrangements order in place from the court. I have no idea what's the best solution: stay and fight or run. I tried for so many years to stand and fight.. I got nowhere, because my ex does whatever he wants to anyway.

I am trying to find solicitor but the cost is mind blowing. I do not qualify for legal aid . 

I had 26 sessions trauma counselling. My counsellor was brilliant and she knew about my diagnosis. She told me where to seek any more support but I haven't referred myself there yet. It's hard because with all that stuff going on, work, running a house... I feel if I take any more on I will soon end up with a major breakdown.

Nana1318 said:

I feel if I take any more on I will soon end up with a major breakdown.

I get this - however you are trading off a bigger risk for this one.

The benefits should help you lower your stress in the mid term so the short term overhead is possibly worth it - but I also know maying the commitment to change can be very difficult for some of us.

You know the options open to you and only you can make these decisions now.

Nana1318 said:

I am trying to find solicitor but the cost is mind blowing.

They are incredibly expensive but the advice can be worth the investment. You need to get all your info together up front with records of what has happened, any proof or witnesses established and a clear idea of what you want out of the situation.

This way you get them to give a solution / advice as fast as possible and if you are open about your budget then they can often give you something tailored to this by using their paralegals to do much of the digging about.

Nana1318 said:

If I move I would change my identity through deed poll.

This would have minimal impact if your ex is resourceful. A private investigator can track this down fairly easily and it just means you will have gone to a lot of hassle and expense for little benefit.

Blocking the ex through legal channels is the most effective way as any infringement by them will have legal consequences whereas running and hiding only delays the same hassle you have now.

Again I would suggest speaking to a solicitor or lawyer who specialises in this sort of thing and ask for a consult with them to establish the probable costs involved. This will tell you if it is within your means to cover and what the outcome is likely to be. You will now be well enough informed to make a decision and have a degree of trust in what will happen.

Good luck with whatever you choose.