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Moving or staying and fighting

Nana1318

Hiya, 

I am writing for an advice... 

Due to harassment from my ex-partner I have applied for non molestation order. The case is a bit complicated and it's been going on since the end of 2019. My ex-partner is a father to my daughter and I have a new partner for 3 years now. 

I am scared of my ex-partner and I have been thinking about moving a lot. 

From on side I want to show my ex partner that enough is enough but from the other side I am petrified and want to move. 

What do I do? 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

Parents

  • If you move is there a reasonable chance he will come after you wherever you end up?

    If the answer is yes then there is no point moving. Stand and fight

    I would consult with a lawyer who specialises in this field and get a restraining order requested and listen to their advice on how to make it incredibly difficult and painful for your ex to come after you.

    If you think there is any physical risk to you or your daughter then get some self defence classes for your own peace of mind.

    Lastly I would get a therapist (I assume you are autistic so make sure they are experienced in this area) and work through the fears you have and they should be able to help you process and deal with this so you can have a better state of mind.

    Just my thoughts on the subject.

Reply

  • If you move is there a reasonable chance he will come after you wherever you end up?

    If the answer is yes then there is no point moving. Stand and fight

    I would consult with a lawyer who specialises in this field and get a restraining order requested and listen to their advice on how to make it incredibly difficult and painful for your ex to come after you.

    If you think there is any physical risk to you or your daughter then get some self defence classes for your own peace of mind.

    Lastly I would get a therapist (I assume you are autistic so make sure they are experienced in this area) and work through the fears you have and they should be able to help you process and deal with this so you can have a better state of mind.

    Just my thoughts on the subject.

Children
  • in reply to Iain

    Hiya, thank you very much for your reply.

    If I move I would change my identity through deed poll. I wouldn't be able to do it for my daughter because there is child arrangements order in place from the court. I have no idea what's the best solution: stay and fight or run. I tried for so many years to stand and fight.. I got nowhere, because my ex does whatever he wants to anyway.

    I am trying to find solicitor but the cost is mind blowing. I do not qualify for legal aid . 

    I had 26 sessions trauma counselling. My counsellor was brilliant and she knew about my diagnosis. She told me where to seek any more support but I haven't referred myself there yet. It's hard because with all that stuff going on, work, running a house... I feel if I take any more on I will soon end up with a major breakdown.