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Making Friends as an Adult

Paraducks

This is, perhaps, not the best place to ask this question but maybe if we bang rocks together we can make sparks.

It feels like when you're an adult, your opportunities for socialising in general begin to fall off a cliff-edge. I was having a chat with my parents about it recently, and they expressed a similar sentiment: "Most of my friends are from work. I don't really have the time to look for new ones anymore." It feels like that's where I am at right now, twenty odd years earlier than them in the timeline. 

I was curious if that is the experience many of our older folks on this forum experienced as well? Obviously the struggles of being Autistic doesn't help our case in any way, but I can't help but think this might be a universal issue among people just in general now that so many of our relationships are conducted through the screen. (Heck, i'm even asking for help online right now!)

I'm happy to bring up where I think Autism plays a role in this in replies, but i'm curious on how people try to make friends once they have left higher education. (College/Uni)

Parents

  • My friends from school don't have time for me in their lives anymore and it is very upsetting for me, I see them posting things on social media, and then not even opening my messages on the same app... I don't know how to make friends, and being agoraphobic I can't just get out the house and start making new friends. It's tough honestly. 

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  • My friends from school don't have time for me in their lives anymore and it is very upsetting for me, I see them posting things on social media, and then not even opening my messages on the same app... I don't know how to make friends, and being agoraphobic I can't just get out the house and start making new friends. It's tough honestly. 

Children
  • in reply to Freckles

    You have my sympathies; I feel like I am in a similar situation besides the agoraphobia. My connections to the people who I thought were my friends back home have been extremely tenuous since I have been here. I may hear back from the odd person once every week, but my main point of contact is my mum who calls me every few days to check up on me. 

    Maintaining friendships over a long period is very difficult without regular contact. We simply weren't designed to be terminally online 24/7 as COVID lockdowns proved. I wish I had a better answer for you Freckles, but it's something I am struggling with as well. I'm happy to have a chat in the dm's if you feel like reaching out.