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Fear of men

Rach91

Hi I’m not sure if this is an autistic thing but I have a sort of fear of men and men touching me. I have plenty of male friends that I trust but I only allow my really close friend Rikki to touch me. His dad has been ill recently and I asked rikki to give his dad a get well soon card from me which he did today and his dad apparently wants to give me a big hug and I just freaked out over the phone to Rikki and burst into tears. Rikki calmed me down and I apologised and said I don’t mean offence it’s just the thought of hugging his dad I made me freak out. I have always been like this every since I was a child I always request a female doctor and I remember being in hospital a few years ago and I needed an ecg and I had to remove my bra and a male nurse came to do it and I had a massive panic attack and screamed no men don’t touch me no men my mum quickly stepped in and said can a woman do it please as she won’t let you touch her. Luckily the staff were so understanding and provided a female nurse. I just want to know is this an autistic thing? I’ve been in relationships with men and I was fine with being touched and I have got male friends as well but I make ask me if it’s ok to hug me apart from Rikki he is the only guy I am comfortable with if he touches me. Any men that read this as well if you have similar issues please feel free to share this thread is available to comment on from either gender. 

Parents

  • I’m glad I’m not the only person who like it. I love hugs being hugged but only by women and Rikki. Yesterday I went over Rikki’s bed felt really low and he put his arm around me for a a cuddle and I cried but it really helped. I’ve been in relationships before with men and again it was nice snuggling up to them but I’m very timid and it takes a lot of trust with me especially after my previous relationship was abusive luckily Rikki understands this and is really gentle and caring and he knows what triggers me and how to calm me down. I think my issue was dating a neurotypical in my previous relationship and trying to act like one. With Rikki even though we not a couple we are really close he on the spectrum like me and it’s really nice. 

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  • I’m glad I’m not the only person who like it. I love hugs being hugged but only by women and Rikki. Yesterday I went over Rikki’s bed felt really low and he put his arm around me for a a cuddle and I cried but it really helped. I’ve been in relationships before with men and again it was nice snuggling up to them but I’m very timid and it takes a lot of trust with me especially after my previous relationship was abusive luckily Rikki understands this and is really gentle and caring and he knows what triggers me and how to calm me down. I think my issue was dating a neurotypical in my previous relationship and trying to act like one. With Rikki even though we not a couple we are really close he on the spectrum like me and it’s really nice. 

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