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Fear of men

Rach91

Hi I’m not sure if this is an autistic thing but I have a sort of fear of men and men touching me. I have plenty of male friends that I trust but I only allow my really close friend Rikki to touch me. His dad has been ill recently and I asked rikki to give his dad a get well soon card from me which he did today and his dad apparently wants to give me a big hug and I just freaked out over the phone to Rikki and burst into tears. Rikki calmed me down and I apologised and said I don’t mean offence it’s just the thought of hugging his dad I made me freak out. I have always been like this every since I was a child I always request a female doctor and I remember being in hospital a few years ago and I needed an ecg and I had to remove my bra and a male nurse came to do it and I had a massive panic attack and screamed no men don’t touch me no men my mum quickly stepped in and said can a woman do it please as she won’t let you touch her. Luckily the staff were so understanding and provided a female nurse. I just want to know is this an autistic thing? I’ve been in relationships with men and I was fine with being touched and I have got male friends as well but I make ask me if it’s ok to hug me apart from Rikki he is the only guy I am comfortable with if he touches me. Any men that read this as well if you have similar issues please feel free to share this thread is available to comment on from either gender. 

Parents

  • Rach, this is quite normal, and you are wise to only let really close friends  hug you, I am the same, it applies to men just as much as to the ladies and I have no inclination to hug or be hugged, that is a common trait of autism, I was diagnosed just a week ago on Wednesday and at 64 i am almost a pensioner, I hated team sports at school and as for the Rugby scrum YUCK!!!!!!, I hated it, I think you will find more people feel like you then you think, you are not alone, I have recently made a lady friend at church coffee morning, she is a teacher and came onto me unannounced(possibly sent by my spirit guide, i am recently bereaved and live alone having no family and having lost my mum) but she asked can I hug you and before I knew it she did!!, I was a bit taken aback but she has become a good friend, strange how things happen, I have told her about my autism diagnosis, no point in lying about that or covering it up, we do tend to stand out, sometimes I just wish I could melt away into the background and not be noticed, you are possibly the same.

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  • Rach, this is quite normal, and you are wise to only let really close friends  hug you, I am the same, it applies to men just as much as to the ladies and I have no inclination to hug or be hugged, that is a common trait of autism, I was diagnosed just a week ago on Wednesday and at 64 i am almost a pensioner, I hated team sports at school and as for the Rugby scrum YUCK!!!!!!, I hated it, I think you will find more people feel like you then you think, you are not alone, I have recently made a lady friend at church coffee morning, she is a teacher and came onto me unannounced(possibly sent by my spirit guide, i am recently bereaved and live alone having no family and having lost my mum) but she asked can I hug you and before I knew it she did!!, I was a bit taken aback but she has become a good friend, strange how things happen, I have told her about my autism diagnosis, no point in lying about that or covering it up, we do tend to stand out, sometimes I just wish I could melt away into the background and not be noticed, you are possibly the same.

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