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Autism and Marriage

JJ9516419

Hello - I’ve recently been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD at the age of 43. I always knew I was different and now finally have answers.
I am currently in chronic burnout and am finding I am quite withdrawn and I know my husband is struggling because he feels we don’t communicate and he feels shut out. I don’t mean to shut him out but I just wondered if this is an autistic thing and if so does anyone have any advice as to how I can navigate our relationship with these diagnosis? Thank you 

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community!

    I'm very sorry to hear about your marriage struggles.

    I recommend this book, which addresses all manner of issues concerning neurotypical + neurodivergent relationships. It also includes various exercises that you can complete - ideally along with your husband - to help both of you to make the most of its advice:

    Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

    Note: the book was written when Asperger's syndrome was still an official diagnostic term, whereas this would now simply fall under Autism Spectrum Disorder / Condition (ie autism). 

    Caveat: when moving from discussion of one issue / scenario to the next, the author often switches which of the partners is neurodivergent (him / her), which can make it a little confusing until you've worked out who's who each time. Still, I felt the book's benefits were well worth this inconvenience.

    You might also find this NAS resource helpful:

    NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people

    I wish you both all the best x

Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the community!

    I'm very sorry to hear about your marriage struggles.

    I recommend this book, which addresses all manner of issues concerning neurotypical + neurodivergent relationships. It also includes various exercises that you can complete - ideally along with your husband - to help both of you to make the most of its advice:

    Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

    Note: the book was written when Asperger's syndrome was still an official diagnostic term, whereas this would now simply fall under Autism Spectrum Disorder / Condition (ie autism). 

    Caveat: when moving from discussion of one issue / scenario to the next, the author often switches which of the partners is neurodivergent (him / her), which can make it a little confusing until you've worked out who's who each time. Still, I felt the book's benefits were well worth this inconvenience.

    You might also find this NAS resource helpful:

    NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people

    I wish you both all the best x

Children