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I lost a friend today

Stu

He says I've changed and he doesn't like the person I've become. I was diagnosed back in April and stopped masking. Saying what's on my mind more. Due to work commitments on my wife's part and stuff going on with one of my kids I couldn't fly abroad to his wedding. 

He got very nasty about it. Took it very personally. Truth was I was scared to go I suppose. 

Things have been on and off and rocky for the last six months or so but today he told me he doesn't like me anymore and strongly implied that I'm faking my autism, that I somehow rigged the assessment in my favour, all because I don't want to get a job. 

I'm temporarily not working but it's because my daughter is home educated. It's nothing to do with my autism. 

I know diagnosis leads to loss of friendship. Is this a common story?

Parents

  • A sad tale. It sounds like not flying abroad for the wedding was the right call, even if the fallout is causing you pain and disappointment. Looking after yourself and family matters most. 

    Unmasking is a tricky thing. I'm beginning to work out what this looks like for me. I reflected recently that my masked self is more likeable (to me and others) than any unmasked version, but the cost is too high. So trying to work out what I can let slip... I think it'll be generally about accepting my low capacity, impressing this on others, and holding myself together when people don't react well

  • in reply to boaty

    I haven't got the energy to mask anymore. Any friends I made when masking aren't real friends unless they're still here after the mask slips. That's the test. 

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