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Blue_Panda

Hello, 

Im a 22 year old guy with “moderate - severe ASD”. Im realising that im. really behind in life, i can’t work, i dont have an education, i have no friends i only speak to my dad and my sister but my dad is not great because he does not bother to understand. Ive struggled my entire life in education and was eventually pulled out from lack of attendance, i tried college when i was old enough but i could only achieve a level 2 first certificate at home with no tutors just a list of objectives and power-points to work through. I struggle to leave the house (especially alone) but i can drive, i was “self taught” and used youtube eventually passed my test - but i still struggle to leave the house. 

I want a job i want to live independently but im stuck on benefits and i dont get any support for daily living or anything. my dad wants me to live in a facility where its like your own house but you have people who care and your surrounded by other people with disabilities but i want to have a nice house with my dog so im not sure i can have access to those places? 

does anyone know any support or suggestions? i hear my neighbours talking bad about me to my own dad and it hurts. 

thanks! 

L 

Parents

  • Hi Blue Panda,

    That sounds really rubbish.

    I don't know if it makes it better or worse to say I've heard lots of things like that before?  On one hand  suppose it might make you feel like you're not the only one gong through it, but at the same time sound like an problem that is perpetual and never ending.

    First off, no *** - learning to drive by yourself, that's an incredibly task.  I shared a word with my NeuroD daughter who we are home schooling - autodidact, I like that word.  Maybe because it makes you sound like a dinosaur, but mainly because such a thing exists, someone who teaches themselves.  The schooling system works for many because it's easy, but for a significant chunk of us NeuroD's is serve to suggest we're useless, don't fit in and deconstructs our self-respect.

    Maybe why you are, physically and mentally, where you are now? maybe Shrug tone2

    If you had to write a shopping list of what you'd like out of life by the time you're 32 what would it be?

    If the answer is - I DON'T KNOW - then that is a perfectly reasonable place to start.

    After that, perhaps someone can provide you with some suggestions about taking some baby steps towards a life you feel proud of.

    smiling face with hearts 

Reply

  • Hi Blue Panda,

    That sounds really rubbish.

    I don't know if it makes it better or worse to say I've heard lots of things like that before?  On one hand  suppose it might make you feel like you're not the only one gong through it, but at the same time sound like an problem that is perpetual and never ending.

    First off, no *** - learning to drive by yourself, that's an incredibly task.  I shared a word with my NeuroD daughter who we are home schooling - autodidact, I like that word.  Maybe because it makes you sound like a dinosaur, but mainly because such a thing exists, someone who teaches themselves.  The schooling system works for many because it's easy, but for a significant chunk of us NeuroD's is serve to suggest we're useless, don't fit in and deconstructs our self-respect.

    Maybe why you are, physically and mentally, where you are now? maybe Shrug tone2

    If you had to write a shopping list of what you'd like out of life by the time you're 32 what would it be?

    If the answer is - I DON'T KNOW - then that is a perfectly reasonable place to start.

    After that, perhaps someone can provide you with some suggestions about taking some baby steps towards a life you feel proud of.

    smiling face with hearts 

Children
  • in reply to IntruderAlarmAbatis

    Thank you. Learning to drive i found the actual driving easy, But the stress of the exams and having to talk to others i struggled with so i ended up having a pen and paper to write my answer down and thankfully he accepted that! I think it also helps that i enjoy learning about cars and their specs etc so me and your daughter relate. 

    As for the shopping list thing, I literally just want to be “normal” in the sense i have a home of my own, and a job i can even if its part time and one day a week i’d be proud i managed to get there. Other than that i have no idea, I just dislike hearing people speak badly of me and i can’t speak to them and defend myself because if they knew maybe they’d understand. 

    thank you