Turning 30 in a couple of weeks and worried about my future...

How do I start???
Well a few days ago I had a really bad worry moment, so much so that I was trying so hard not to cry to sleep. As you have read in the title I turn 30 in a couple of weeks, normally I'm really excited for my birthday but with everything that has been going on this year I've been more scared to hit 30 then I did when I hit 20.

For a while now I feel like I am missing something in my life, but I'm unsure on what that something would be. In July this year I started volunteering twice a week at a charity shop (which I love!) to help build my confidence and get some experience. I have been looking for part time jobs as well, but I haven't found anything that interest me or I'm qualified to do.

Some of you might of seen my last post about me mentioning about my dad and have had a lot like that happening which is causing me not to enjoy my life much. Another thing that has been on my mind is that (sorry for the tmi) I haven't had a period in 9 months. I'm not pregnant (still a virgin) but I have a doctors appointment next week to talk about this.

What has me worried are:
- I'm turning 30 and have no boyfriend and I'm still a virgin
- I'm scared that if I do end up with someone that they could end up like my dad
- I'm worried that because I haven't had a period that I could be infertile, which then makes me more worried that who would want to be with me when I can't have children.
- I have eczema prone skin - so again I keep thinking who would want a women who could be infertile and have eczema prone skin.
- I worried that if I meet someone that I will be taken advanced of because I don't understand certain things.
- I'm worried I will never find anyone since I don't go clubbing or to pubs etc 
- I'm worried about money all the time and end up spending my monthly money just to distract my thoughts (I find it very hard to budget)
- I haven't got a job - and I'm unsure what I am good at.

There are probably more for that list but basically I am terrified and I'm stuck. I don't know what to do with my life...I've been having feelings of wanting a baby too but know I can't afford to have a baby. I just see everyone else moving on with their lives and doing things that I feel unseen or lost. I know some of you will comment saying your still young and have plenty of time but my brain doesn't think that way. 

I know I'm probably repeating myself with the posts I put up on here but it's the only place I feel comfortable to express my thoughts and feelings to SobSob x

Parents
  • I had a crisis at 30 too - it seems common, from the posts on here.

    When I turned 30 I was married, we had a rented home that we had decorated and furnished beautifully, and my husband had a good job, so it sounds like we were sorted and settled. But his job was dead end and stressful, I flitted from one job to another and couldn't settle anywhere, and we were getting stressed from gangs of teenagers on the council estate where we lived. I wished we had been able to do something creative for work, as we were both into music and art & design, but felt it was too late to do that and we couldn't afford to go on courses. We also had never been abroad, and still lived in the town where we were born.

    By the time I turned 40, I was settled into a job which had given me study support and I had gained a useful qualification - it wasn't creative, but it still felt I had achieved something. We owned a house which we had bought a few years before, and we started going on holiday abroad which broadened our experience. The following year we moved to another town where we had always fancied living. So 30 isn't the end of things, you can still do lots of things well into your forties.

Reply
  • I had a crisis at 30 too - it seems common, from the posts on here.

    When I turned 30 I was married, we had a rented home that we had decorated and furnished beautifully, and my husband had a good job, so it sounds like we were sorted and settled. But his job was dead end and stressful, I flitted from one job to another and couldn't settle anywhere, and we were getting stressed from gangs of teenagers on the council estate where we lived. I wished we had been able to do something creative for work, as we were both into music and art & design, but felt it was too late to do that and we couldn't afford to go on courses. We also had never been abroad, and still lived in the town where we were born.

    By the time I turned 40, I was settled into a job which had given me study support and I had gained a useful qualification - it wasn't creative, but it still felt I had achieved something. We owned a house which we had bought a few years before, and we started going on holiday abroad which broadened our experience. The following year we moved to another town where we had always fancied living. So 30 isn't the end of things, you can still do lots of things well into your forties.

Children
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