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Turning 30 in a couple of weeks and worried about my future...

AmyLR94

How do I start???
Well a few days ago I had a really bad worry moment, so much so that I was trying so hard not to cry to sleep. As you have read in the title I turn 30 in a couple of weeks, normally I'm really excited for my birthday but with everything that has been going on this year I've been more scared to hit 30 then I did when I hit 20.

For a while now I feel like I am missing something in my life, but I'm unsure on what that something would be. In July this year I started volunteering twice a week at a charity shop (which I love!) to help build my confidence and get some experience. I have been looking for part time jobs as well, but I haven't found anything that interest me or I'm qualified to do.

Some of you might of seen my last post about me mentioning about my dad and have had a lot like that happening which is causing me not to enjoy my life much. Another thing that has been on my mind is that (sorry for the tmi) I haven't had a period in 9 months. I'm not pregnant (still a virgin) but I have a doctors appointment next week to talk about this.

What has me worried are:
- I'm turning 30 and have no boyfriend and I'm still a virgin
- I'm scared that if I do end up with someone that they could end up like my dad
- I'm worried that because I haven't had a period that I could be infertile, which then makes me more worried that who would want to be with me when I can't have children.
- I have eczema prone skin - so again I keep thinking who would want a women who could be infertile and have eczema prone skin.
- I worried that if I meet someone that I will be taken advanced of because I don't understand certain things.
- I'm worried I will never find anyone since I don't go clubbing or to pubs etc 
- I'm worried about money all the time and end up spending my monthly money just to distract my thoughts (I find it very hard to budget)
- I haven't got a job - and I'm unsure what I am good at.

There are probably more for that list but basically I am terrified and I'm stuck. I don't know what to do with my life...I've been having feelings of wanting a baby too but know I can't afford to have a baby. I just see everyone else moving on with their lives and doing things that I feel unseen or lost. I know some of you will comment saying your still young and have plenty of time but my brain doesn't think that way. 

I know I'm probably repeating myself with the posts I put up on here but it's the only place I feel comfortable to express my thoughts and feelings to SobSob x

Parents

  • I'm a 50 year old bloke, I won't try and suggest I know how a young woman would feel, but I can offer a little advice generally on things from a few milestones further on...

    You are definitely over thinking things, it's normal to hit certain milestone birthdays and evaluate your whole life, but don't assume that you have to fix it all at once. Remember that old phrase about "how to eat an elephant" , answer being "one bite at a time".

    Also, don't assume that all these things you think you should be doing are mandatory, life is about doing what you feel makes you happy, unless that's something really awful, then you should focus on that happiness and find a way to fuel it.

    I've spent a lot of my life worrying about what people think of me, doing things I feel I should do based on what others do. I've done ok and wouldn't change anything too much in my life now, but I'd have spent a lot less time stressing about stuff and more time enjoying it, had I got the perspective I have now.

    So rather than thinking "I'm not married" or "I'm single" etc. try to think "am I happy?" And work from there.

    The thing you need to avoid is regrets. Don't be hard on yourself, try and look for things that make you happy.

    All very easy to say, I know it's not always easy to do! We're all always here to offer advice, it might not always be good advice, but it's free at least!Stuck out tongue winking eye 

Reply

  • I'm a 50 year old bloke, I won't try and suggest I know how a young woman would feel, but I can offer a little advice generally on things from a few milestones further on...

    You are definitely over thinking things, it's normal to hit certain milestone birthdays and evaluate your whole life, but don't assume that you have to fix it all at once. Remember that old phrase about "how to eat an elephant" , answer being "one bite at a time".

    Also, don't assume that all these things you think you should be doing are mandatory, life is about doing what you feel makes you happy, unless that's something really awful, then you should focus on that happiness and find a way to fuel it.

    I've spent a lot of my life worrying about what people think of me, doing things I feel I should do based on what others do. I've done ok and wouldn't change anything too much in my life now, but I'd have spent a lot less time stressing about stuff and more time enjoying it, had I got the perspective I have now.

    So rather than thinking "I'm not married" or "I'm single" etc. try to think "am I happy?" And work from there.

    The thing you need to avoid is regrets. Don't be hard on yourself, try and look for things that make you happy.

    All very easy to say, I know it's not always easy to do! We're all always here to offer advice, it might not always be good advice, but it's free at least!Stuck out tongue winking eye 

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