Turning 30 in a couple of weeks and worried about my future...

Hi, 

I know this response comes to you much later than most others, and I hope you have received the wisdom of people who have been through more than me, but I will say my peace regardless as I feel it's something I can heavily relate to. 

First of all, for reference, i'm a 28 year old guy. Not quite 30, but close enough to where I can perfectly understand your perspective on aimlessness; it is something that until quite recently I was struggling with quite a lot. What you are feeling is perfectly valid and reasonable; finding purpose in life is something I am still very much working through personally. 

People of our generation were dealt a very bad hand in life. Houses are practically unaffordable unless you have a 'fortunate' event like a loved one passing you a significant amount in a will, or some other event. Rent in most places will be eating up a large portion of our income, and many of the places we would go to hang out to de-stress have been stolen away by Govt. mismanagement and COVID. These things, just like your skin or your Neurodivergence are not your fault. You didn't choose to have these issues be a part of your life, and your struggles in working through them are perfectly valid. Never tell yourself otherwise, okay?

There are so many people out there who would love and appreciate you, despite the issues you think you have with finding people. Speaking for myself for a moment; I can't go to clubs or pubs either. One of my Autistic triggers is lots of loud chatter all around me, and I nearly had a bad breakdown when I was in that same situation in Paris nearly five years ago. Now I categorically refuse to go to those places unless I am forced to. I doubt I am the only person out there who feels this way either. As long as you give yourself the opportunity to see people, those people who are able to love you will find you.

If I were in your shoes, I think the first step I would try to take is to evaluate the skills and hobbies I do have, and what I can do with them to earn a sustainable living. Now, if you're anything like me, you're almost certainly going to need someone else to tell you stuff you're good at so it sounds believable to yourself. I would recommend asking a close friend, or if one isn't available, a careers advisor to help you figure out your next steps sustainably. 

The last thing i'll end on is that i've also recently felt that very same feeling of being left behind by my peers. My cousin recently got married, and she is only 12 days older than I am. (Also named Amy, fun fact) That was a big reality check for me, even after I had decided several years before that to actively commit to my path of getting a degree and finding a job.

I hope this helps a little? You're not alone, and if you need someone to talk to about anything, I am happy to help. 

- Para

Hi, 

I know this response comes to you much later than most others, and I hope you have received the wisdom of people who have been through more than me, but I will say my peace regardless as I feel it's something I can heavily relate to. 

First of all, for reference, i'm a 28 year old guy. Not quite 30, but close enough to where I can perfectly understand your perspective on aimlessness; it is something that until quite recently I was struggling with quite a lot. What you are feeling is perfectly valid and reasonable; finding purpose in life is something I am still very much working through personally. 

People of our generation were dealt a very bad hand in life. Houses are practically unaffordable unless you have a 'fortunate' event like a loved one passing you a significant amount in a will, or some other event. Rent in most places will be eating up a large portion of our income, and many of the places we would go to hang out to de-stress have been stolen away by Govt. mismanagement and COVID. These things, just like your skin or your Neurodivergence are not your fault. You didn't choose to have these issues be a part of your life, and your struggles in working through them are perfectly valid. Never tell yourself otherwise, okay?

There are so many people out there who would love and appreciate you, despite the issues you think you have with finding people. Speaking for myself for a moment; I can't go to clubs or pubs either. One of my Autistic triggers is lots of loud chatter all around me, and I nearly had a bad breakdown when I was in that same situation in Paris nearly five years ago. Now I categorically refuse to go to those places unless I am forced to. I doubt I am the only person out there who feels this way either. As long as you give yourself the opportunity to see people, those people who are able to love you will find you.

If I were in your shoes, I think the first step I would try to take is to evaluate the skills and hobbies I do have, and what I can do with them to earn a sustainable living. Now, if you're anything like me, you're almost certainly going to need someone else to tell you stuff you're good at so it sounds believable to yourself. I would recommend asking a close friend, or if one isn't available, a careers advisor to help you figure out your next steps sustainably. 

The last thing i'll end on is that i've also recently felt that very same feeling of being left behind by my peers. My cousin recently got married, and she is only 12 days older than I am. (Also named Amy, fun fact) That was a big reality check for me, even after I had decided several years before that to actively commit to my path of getting a degree and finding a job.

I hope this helps a little? You're not alone, and if you need someone to talk to about anything, I am happy to help. 

- Para