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Turning 30 in a couple of weeks and worried about my future...

AmyLR94

How do I start???
Well a few days ago I had a really bad worry moment, so much so that I was trying so hard not to cry to sleep. As you have read in the title I turn 30 in a couple of weeks, normally I'm really excited for my birthday but with everything that has been going on this year I've been more scared to hit 30 then I did when I hit 20.

For a while now I feel like I am missing something in my life, but I'm unsure on what that something would be. In July this year I started volunteering twice a week at a charity shop (which I love!) to help build my confidence and get some experience. I have been looking for part time jobs as well, but I haven't found anything that interest me or I'm qualified to do.

Some of you might of seen my last post about me mentioning about my dad and have had a lot like that happening which is causing me not to enjoy my life much. Another thing that has been on my mind is that (sorry for the tmi) I haven't had a period in 9 months. I'm not pregnant (still a virgin) but I have a doctors appointment next week to talk about this.

What has me worried are:
- I'm turning 30 and have no boyfriend and I'm still a virgin
- I'm scared that if I do end up with someone that they could end up like my dad
- I'm worried that because I haven't had a period that I could be infertile, which then makes me more worried that who would want to be with me when I can't have children.
- I have eczema prone skin - so again I keep thinking who would want a women who could be infertile and have eczema prone skin.
- I worried that if I meet someone that I will be taken advanced of because I don't understand certain things.
- I'm worried I will never find anyone since I don't go clubbing or to pubs etc 
- I'm worried about money all the time and end up spending my monthly money just to distract my thoughts (I find it very hard to budget)
- I haven't got a job - and I'm unsure what I am good at.

There are probably more for that list but basically I am terrified and I'm stuck. I don't know what to do with my life...I've been having feelings of wanting a baby too but know I can't afford to have a baby. I just see everyone else moving on with their lives and doing things that I feel unseen or lost. I know some of you will comment saying your still young and have plenty of time but my brain doesn't think that way. 

I know I'm probably repeating myself with the posts I put up on here but it's the only place I feel comfortable to express my thoughts and feelings to SobSob x

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  • AmyLR94 said:
    What has me worried are:
    - I'm turning 30 and have no boyfriend and I'm still a virgin
    - I'm scared that if I do end up with someone that they could end up like my dad
    - I'm worried that because I haven't had a period that I could be infertile, which then makes me more worried that who would want to be with me when I can't have children.
    - I have eczema prone skin - so again I keep thinking who would want a women who could be infertile and have eczema prone skin.
    - I worried that if I meet someone that I will be taken advanced of because I don't understand certain things.
    - I'm worried I will never find anyone since I don't go clubbing or to pubs etc 
    - I'm worried about money all the time and end up spending my monthly money just to distract my thoughts (I find it very hard to budget)
    - I haven't got a job - and I'm unsure what I am good at.
    1. You will find lots of men (and a few women) willing to relive you of your virgininty if you are happy to go down the casual sex route. I'm not saying you should, I'm just reminding you it is an option.
    2. Then date men who have personalites very difrent from your dad?
    3. you really need to talk to your doctor but there are lots of things that might cause you to miss your period and most of them are treatable. There is also IVF. Also there are men who activly prefer the idea of not having kids.
    4. Speak to a dermatologist but good skin care and make up can help a lot with this.
    5. Naivete is a genuin concern and it's one you pesonally are best placed to adress. The best aproch is to become a women of the world. Start looking at and considering all the sorts of things you usually shy away of because they make you uncomfortable. If there are spicific areas you are unconfident with we could maybe sugest more?
    6. after 30 it does get harder to meet people face to face through actvities and 'clubing' however online dating exists and tends to work much better for woman than men if you are prepaired to cope with the huge amount of atention (not all of it comfortable) you will get on the apps. Otherwise maybe try to join a club where you can meet people with commonn interests.
    7. Budgeting is hard but the way to do it is to plan ahead and be strict with your self. google offers you a free spreadsheet service. Make a spreadsheet with your monthly income / bills etc and try to figgure out what you can aford to spend each week. What I do is try to have all my bills go out just after payday plus a lump into a saving account. Then I know roughly the amount of money in my account devided by the number of days left to payday is roughly what I have to spend.
    8. The first question should be what do you love doing.
Reply
  • AmyLR94 said:
    What has me worried are:
    - I'm turning 30 and have no boyfriend and I'm still a virgin
    - I'm scared that if I do end up with someone that they could end up like my dad
    - I'm worried that because I haven't had a period that I could be infertile, which then makes me more worried that who would want to be with me when I can't have children.
    - I have eczema prone skin - so again I keep thinking who would want a women who could be infertile and have eczema prone skin.
    - I worried that if I meet someone that I will be taken advanced of because I don't understand certain things.
    - I'm worried I will never find anyone since I don't go clubbing or to pubs etc 
    - I'm worried about money all the time and end up spending my monthly money just to distract my thoughts (I find it very hard to budget)
    - I haven't got a job - and I'm unsure what I am good at.
    1. You will find lots of men (and a few women) willing to relive you of your virgininty if you are happy to go down the casual sex route. I'm not saying you should, I'm just reminding you it is an option.
    2. Then date men who have personalites very difrent from your dad?
    3. you really need to talk to your doctor but there are lots of things that might cause you to miss your period and most of them are treatable. There is also IVF. Also there are men who activly prefer the idea of not having kids.
    4. Speak to a dermatologist but good skin care and make up can help a lot with this.
    5. Naivete is a genuin concern and it's one you pesonally are best placed to adress. The best aproch is to become a women of the world. Start looking at and considering all the sorts of things you usually shy away of because they make you uncomfortable. If there are spicific areas you are unconfident with we could maybe sugest more?
    6. after 30 it does get harder to meet people face to face through actvities and 'clubing' however online dating exists and tends to work much better for woman than men if you are prepaired to cope with the huge amount of atention (not all of it comfortable) you will get on the apps. Otherwise maybe try to join a club where you can meet people with commonn interests.
    7. Budgeting is hard but the way to do it is to plan ahead and be strict with your self. google offers you a free spreadsheet service. Make a spreadsheet with your monthly income / bills etc and try to figgure out what you can aford to spend each week. What I do is try to have all my bills go out just after payday plus a lump into a saving account. Then I know roughly the amount of money in my account devided by the number of days left to payday is roughly what I have to spend.
    8. The first question should be what do you love doing.
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