Newly diagnosed & flailing

It's nice to meet someone who was older than I was when I got my diagnosis. I was 60 when I was clinically diagnosed. That was four years ago. As you might imagine, I had a long series of ah-hah moments as I reflected upon my life and retroactively saw why I had made some of the personal and career decisions that I had made. It was a liberating momement. My only regret is that I would have liked to have known this much earlier in my life. 

As with you, niether friends nor family were much interested in talking to me about my diagnosis. I don't think they meant to be callous and insensitive. I suspect their reacton was one of ignorance in not knowing what autism was and/or how to respond. 

Here is a link to a free HIPAA compliant AI mental health chatbot. It might help to talk out your problems. 

This site also exists for people like us. If you have a specific question or concern, feel free to post it at this site. 

Hi there, Retired Teacher. Like you, i truly wish i'd found this out years ago. When i think of the broken relationships, the missed opportunities and bad decisions, it saddens me. Who knows now, but maybe i found the right person for me and threw away my chance. Well, there's no point in dwelling on what-ifs; now it's time to look forward while i still can, if i can. I'm just fortunate that i have such a good counsellor: she's gone above-and-beyond in helping me.

You're right, i don't think anyone has set out to be callous or insensitive, though whether it's ignorance of autism, or something else, i don't know, although the following example might be illustrative: i've recently returned from a 3wk motorhome holiday across Europe with a cousin; on our 2nd night out he told me to stop talking about my autism, so my holiday (1st in over a decade) became a rolling cascade of triggers that i had to keep to myself. He simply didn't want to engage. This i've found with everyone i've mentioned it to. Ignorance can be overcome by asking questions, which nobody i know has bothered to do. I'm resilient though, and self-sufficient, and have learned to live as a man alone. Never married, no children, just me. It has been tough, but liberating and very educational.

All the best to you.

Hi there, Retired Teacher. Like you, i truly wish i'd found this out years ago. When i think of the broken relationships, the missed opportunities and bad decisions, it saddens me. Who knows now, but maybe i found the right person for me and threw away my chance. Well, there's no point in dwelling on what-ifs; now it's time to look forward while i still can, if i can. I'm just fortunate that i have such a good counsellor: she's gone above-and-beyond in helping me.

You're right, i don't think anyone has set out to be callous or insensitive, though whether it's ignorance of autism, or something else, i don't know, although the following example might be illustrative: i've recently returned from a 3wk motorhome holiday across Europe with a cousin; on our 2nd night out he told me to stop talking about my autism, so my holiday (1st in over a decade) became a rolling cascade of triggers that i had to keep to myself. He simply didn't want to engage. This i've found with everyone i've mentioned it to. Ignorance can be overcome by asking questions, which nobody i know has bothered to do. I'm resilient though, and self-sufficient, and have learned to live as a man alone. Never married, no children, just me. It has been tough, but liberating and very educational.

All the best to you.