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Newly diagnosed & flailing

Martin

Hello. My name is Martin; i am 66yo and was diagnosed as autistic, with social anxiety disorder (such an ugly word, that) and dyspraxia, 3 months ago. So far, i've only had my counsellor to talk to about my diagnosis as neither my friends nor family seem to be interested in helping me to process what i believe to be the biggest discovery of my life. I'm struggling to absorb the news on my own, after a lifetime spent masking & trying to fit in (& failing), and there seems to be no help out in the 'real world' from organisations etc. I'd welcome any advice, pointers etc.

Parents

  • Oh my! I'm in my early 60s and on the waiting list. I guess I may be diagnosed when I'm roughly your age. I am gradually re-evaluating my life and it's quite mindblowing. Things certainly don't become easier as soon as you realise that you are autistic (with or without diagnosis). I have to tell myself to be patient - I hope that things may get a bit better day by day, month by month, as I gradually learn more about myself and how I can be more myself with other people. Realistically, I don't personally expect too much from friends and family, as it's going to be even harder for them to work out than it is for me.

    Number one tip from me is to try and be patient and kind with yourself and others. Also don't hesitate to spend time just doing what you personally like without reference to anyone else and enjoy every moment of those times. Be happy when you can and affirm yourself.

  • in reply to N A S 9 6 2 3 8 🤯

    Hi, NAS96238. Thanks very much for your thoughts. I hope you get your diagnosis much more quickly than i did (it took 2yrs from application to assessment.) You seem to have your head in the right place - it's all about patience, i've found, and not expecting help from any quarter. My gp has no idea of how to help, and all i've heard from other sources is, 'check out our websites for tips and advice', very little of which pans out in reality.

    But one thing i've found is that there's a lot of solace to be taken from everybody's replies here. We may be living this individually, but collectively we understand one another, which certainly helps me.

    One day at a time. It took me 66yrs to find out who i am, and i don't expect all the answers to come at once. I am learning to be more forgiving of myself, for one thing; just knowing that i couldn't have reacted any other way to my experiences in life is a big help. I am who i am, which seems a very good place to begin.

    All the best to you, and i hope your journey's an easy one.

Reply
  • in reply to N A S 9 6 2 3 8 🤯

    Hi, NAS96238. Thanks very much for your thoughts. I hope you get your diagnosis much more quickly than i did (it took 2yrs from application to assessment.) You seem to have your head in the right place - it's all about patience, i've found, and not expecting help from any quarter. My gp has no idea of how to help, and all i've heard from other sources is, 'check out our websites for tips and advice', very little of which pans out in reality.

    But one thing i've found is that there's a lot of solace to be taken from everybody's replies here. We may be living this individually, but collectively we understand one another, which certainly helps me.

    One day at a time. It took me 66yrs to find out who i am, and i don't expect all the answers to come at once. I am learning to be more forgiving of myself, for one thing; just knowing that i couldn't have reacted any other way to my experiences in life is a big help. I am who i am, which seems a very good place to begin.

    All the best to you, and i hope your journey's an easy one.

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