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Newly diagnosed & flailing

Martin

Hello. My name is Martin; i am 66yo and was diagnosed as autistic, with social anxiety disorder (such an ugly word, that) and dyspraxia, 3 months ago. So far, i've only had my counsellor to talk to about my diagnosis as neither my friends nor family seem to be interested in helping me to process what i believe to be the biggest discovery of my life. I'm struggling to absorb the news on my own, after a lifetime spent masking & trying to fit in (& failing), and there seems to be no help out in the 'real world' from organisations etc. I'd welcome any advice, pointers etc.

Parents

  • Hi Martin,

    I know this isn't advice about organisations. I don't really know where to turn either to be honest. Just been diagnosed this year aged 60, and I really get that the diagnosis is a huge thing to process. the biggest shock came when my daughter suggested I was autistic - I thought that was a terrible thing, but then I had no real idea what was wrong or knew much about Autism. Then the diagnosis process felt as if for the first time someone understood me, depsite having had counselling in the past, before the diagnosis because of my struggles, where I thought I was depressed or something. I do feel alone processing all of this,  like you, it really is a massive discovery. But I think it's really important for me to remember and really look at my past struggles in this new light, and keep learning. I feel as though I have increasingly more understanding and more 'agency'. I'm daring to think that even at this late stage it's a kind of gift of insight I never had before. 

Reply

  • Hi Martin,

    I know this isn't advice about organisations. I don't really know where to turn either to be honest. Just been diagnosed this year aged 60, and I really get that the diagnosis is a huge thing to process. the biggest shock came when my daughter suggested I was autistic - I thought that was a terrible thing, but then I had no real idea what was wrong or knew much about Autism. Then the diagnosis process felt as if for the first time someone understood me, depsite having had counselling in the past, before the diagnosis because of my struggles, where I thought I was depressed or something. I do feel alone processing all of this,  like you, it really is a massive discovery. But I think it's really important for me to remember and really look at my past struggles in this new light, and keep learning. I feel as though I have increasingly more understanding and more 'agency'. I'm daring to think that even at this late stage it's a kind of gift of insight I never had before. 

Children
  • in reply to Sassetta

    Hi Sassetta. You've just more-or-less described my journey too. After a lifetime spent in therapy a very insightful counsellor saw all the signs and not only encouraged me to get an assessment but helped me along the way. I think of her as my lighthouse on stormy seas. I'm still struggling - perhaps even more now, though i've heard this isn't uncommon, as people post-diagnosis 'allow' their divergency to become a part of their make-up - but, again like you, on my good days i see it as something special, or extra. I'm actually quite proud of my 'spiciness' (as an acquaintance called it) - it's not a superpower but it feels like a distinction, an added ability. Thank you for your reply - i was beginning to think i was being ignored here too. All the best to you.