• Replies 35 replies
  • Subscribers 98 subscribers
  • Views 3512 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Any success stories?

NAS96243

Hi all,

I've been recently diagnosed with high-functioning autism as an adult (I'm in my mid-forties), and I am struggling to understand how to move on with my life and make things better for myself and the people around me. Therapy is helping me to reconsider who I am and how I respond to my challenges, but I feel like I don't really have a plan for the future.

On the one hand, a diagnosis is great because it helped me understand that most of the issues I've faced during my life have a cause: the very precise feeling of being different from everyone else, which makes being in a social situation a nightmare; the tendency to isolate myself and use my special interest to create an alternative world where I can lose myself and feel comfortable; the discomfort I've felt at work. It's nice to see that there always was an objective issue, and it's not just me being lazy, difficult, or plain stupid.

On the other hand, I am quite exhausted by all this, and I'm quite scared by the prospect of living in the same way as I always have, until the end of my days. Being alone used to be a relief, but it has turned into a prison. I'm aware you can't simply switch autism off, you have to accept it, but I'm really hoping I can find ways to work around my limitations. 

So I wanted to ask the community, has any of you been diagnosed with ASD as adults, and managed to turn their lives around (or at least, make some progress) following that realization? Do you have any success stories, advice, strategies, that you would like to share?

Parents

  • I was diagnosed about 3 years ago in my mid 20s, and having strategies in place allow allow me to do pretty well, but also have realistic expectations of myself, like I do need accommodations and some things are harder for me than they are for other people 


    Like before I knew I was autistic I went to university and the major change and having no strategies in place lead to a mental health crisis, whereas now I have recently changed jobs for the first time and with accommodations in place I am thriving in the job (at least according to my manager) in my check in my weekly check in (one of my accommodations to make sure I know what is expected of me for the week ahead and make sure I haven't missed any unspoken expectations from other people) she was saying she was impressed at how quickly I have settled in and how well I am getting through my work, not because she had lower expectations because of asd but because I am actually just getting through my work quickly, and we literally were saying it is in part because of my asd that I am good at my job, not in spite of it). But I am only able to be doing well at my job because of a supportive work environment where they care more about me as a human than a diagnosis, and accommodations such as noise cancelling headphones, clear instructions and check ins. I am also just super open about my autism with my whole firm, which means I am not spending energy masking all day and I am not burned out by the end of the day which used to be a regular occurrence before I knew and embraced it.

    Academically too, university went about as badly as it could have gone and I had to drop out of undergrad, but I am now 1 exam away from a level 7 professional qualification which is the equivalent of a masters.

    For me, autism definitely means that I have limitations, but it also has things that I am better at because of such as things like my detail orientedness, and my pattern recognition.

  • in reply to Sabrina

    Thanks for sharing Sabrina, interesting point regarding accommodations at work.

    That's something I would have been afraid to ask for in my previous job (but especially not knowing I was autistic yet), but in the light of my diagnosis, I now see how important that can be. I'll keep that in mind!

  • in reply to NAS96243

    Accommodations are definitely important, you are protected by the equalities act, so legally your employer has to provide reasonable accommodations, but I do know it’s still scary to advocate, especially when you are still figuring it out for yourself

    i was in the fortunate position where I wasn’t in need of a new job urgently, so it meant that I could be pickier about where I went in part based on how they reacted to my autism, like I had some weird interviews one where they asked if I was sure I was autistic and another where they got weirdly patronising mid interview when I offhandedly mentioned the reason I am in the field I’m in is because it works really well with the way my brain works with my autism, whereas the job I took (which had multiple up side not just the way they treated my asd) basically were super accommodating not just with the things I asked for but suggesting additional things that they thought might make me more comfortable and at ease at work and also in the transition into the new role

    I know it can be daunting but the best advice I got given to make it easier for me to advocate for myself was accommodations just allow me to do my job more effectively and efficiently, so the relatively low cost to the business (I think mine cost about the equivalent of a day and a half of my wages) is worth it just in productivity improvements. Like my work have asked me more than once if there is anything else I need because they want me comfortable and happy because they want me to stay and want me to get work out. 

Reply
  • in reply to NAS96243

    Accommodations are definitely important, you are protected by the equalities act, so legally your employer has to provide reasonable accommodations, but I do know it’s still scary to advocate, especially when you are still figuring it out for yourself

    i was in the fortunate position where I wasn’t in need of a new job urgently, so it meant that I could be pickier about where I went in part based on how they reacted to my autism, like I had some weird interviews one where they asked if I was sure I was autistic and another where they got weirdly patronising mid interview when I offhandedly mentioned the reason I am in the field I’m in is because it works really well with the way my brain works with my autism, whereas the job I took (which had multiple up side not just the way they treated my asd) basically were super accommodating not just with the things I asked for but suggesting additional things that they thought might make me more comfortable and at ease at work and also in the transition into the new role

    I know it can be daunting but the best advice I got given to make it easier for me to advocate for myself was accommodations just allow me to do my job more effectively and efficiently, so the relatively low cost to the business (I think mine cost about the equivalent of a day and a half of my wages) is worth it just in productivity improvements. Like my work have asked me more than once if there is anything else I need because they want me comfortable and happy because they want me to stay and want me to get work out. 

Children
No Data