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Any success stories?

NAS96243

Hi all,

I've been recently diagnosed with high-functioning autism as an adult (I'm in my mid-forties), and I am struggling to understand how to move on with my life and make things better for myself and the people around me. Therapy is helping me to reconsider who I am and how I respond to my challenges, but I feel like I don't really have a plan for the future.

On the one hand, a diagnosis is great because it helped me understand that most of the issues I've faced during my life have a cause: the very precise feeling of being different from everyone else, which makes being in a social situation a nightmare; the tendency to isolate myself and use my special interest to create an alternative world where I can lose myself and feel comfortable; the discomfort I've felt at work. It's nice to see that there always was an objective issue, and it's not just me being lazy, difficult, or plain stupid.

On the other hand, I am quite exhausted by all this, and I'm quite scared by the prospect of living in the same way as I always have, until the end of my days. Being alone used to be a relief, but it has turned into a prison. I'm aware you can't simply switch autism off, you have to accept it, but I'm really hoping I can find ways to work around my limitations. 

So I wanted to ask the community, has any of you been diagnosed with ASD as adults, and managed to turn their lives around (or at least, make some progress) following that realization? Do you have any success stories, advice, strategies, that you would like to share?

Parents

  • I was diagnosed last year and I’m in my fifties. 
    Like with so many things I’ve found there to be advantages but also some days I feel less positive about it. Overall I’d say I’ve benefitted from the diagnosis. I think it’s helped me to feel less judgemental of myself, and be a bit more forgiving of myself when I’m struggling with things that most people wouldn’t struggle with very much. Growing up in my family I was very much perceived as ‘weak’ and ‘over-sensitive’ - what I now know were autistic traits were viewed as character flaws by my birth family. This has caused me to have a lot of self esteem and confidence issues. However the diagnosis helped me to feel less self hatred and to realise that I’ve actually been working very hard to be the best person I can under quite difficult circumstances. However it’s quite hard to change a lifetime of negative self talk etc - so I still struggle. But the diagnosis has definitely helped me - and I’m very grateful for that. 
    My mother is dead now but my father was scathing about the diagnosis and doesn’t recognise it at all. So that’s been hurtful. 
    However I have a wonderful husband and children and they are very supportive and that’s what kept me going. 

    In terms of ‘moving forward’ - I can see what you mean. I’ve had therapy for PTSD following a serious illness and it was helpful in general ways too. I think the better understanding we can have of ourselves the better our chances of living happier lives - and getting a diagnosis is a big part of that. It takes time and whilst we can’t solve all our problems we can definitely improve our approach to them and do better. Acceptance is important, and being forgiving of ourselves is important, as is hopefully having supportive people in our lives if possible. This community is very supportive too. I’ve also found buddhist teachings very helpful - they’ve helped me to see all sorts of things differently. It’s important to find ways to cultivate happiness in our lives.

    I’ve always struggled with anxiety and that’s been my biggest difficulty - and I still get very overwhelmed with that. But we have to just try our best dont we? Because we deserve to be happy and to enjoy life - and life isn’t forever and we mustn’t waste the time we have. X 

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thanks for the nice words, Kate. I can relate when you talk about your father's reaction to your diagnosis. It can be quite frustrating to go through the lengthy process of getting diagnosed, just for people around you to dismiss it.

    In my case, I'm lucky in that some of my family and friends are slightly skeptical rather than openly scathing. After some discussion, they seem to be slowly accepting the possibility of me being in the spectrum.

  • in reply to NAS96243

    You don’t get to choose your parents……….Blush

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