Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I've been recently diagnosed with high-functioning autism as an adult (I'm in my mid-forties), and I am struggling to understand how to move on with my life and make things better for myself and the people around me. Therapy is helping me to reconsider who I am and how I respond to my challenges, but I feel like I don't really have a plan for the future.
On the one hand, a diagnosis is great because it helped me understand that most of the issues I've faced during my life have a cause: the very precise feeling of being different from everyone else, which makes being in a social situation a nightmare; the tendency to isolate myself and use my special interest to create an alternative world where I can lose myself and feel comfortable; the discomfort I've felt at work. It's nice to see that there always was an objective issue, and it's not just me being lazy, difficult, or plain stupid.
On the other hand, I am quite exhausted by all this, and I'm quite scared by the prospect of living in the same way as I always have, until the end of my days. Being alone used to be a relief, but it has turned into a prison. I'm aware you can't simply switch autism off, you have to accept it, but I'm really hoping I can find ways to work around my limitations.
So I wanted to ask the community, has any of you been diagnosed with ASD as adults, and managed to turn their lives around (or at least, make some progress) following that realization? Do you have any success stories, advice, strategies, that you would like to share?
Do you need a plan? I know some people need one, but some of us don't and if you're someone who thinks they ought to have a plan, rather than actually wanting one, not having one is quite liberating, you can make your days up as you go along, life becomes more organic.
This is a chance for a reset, to start exploring where you need to be for the next X number of years, lot's of people seem to want to retrain for work, or take up new hobbies and interests and stop others. This is a growth period, not one where avenues are closed off to you.
I've become more ruthless in getting people out of my life who wear me out, try to take advantage of me, play me of against others etc. Thats made a huge difference to how I feel about myself and life, I don't feel I have to have certain people around because of other people or social expectations.