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Are we a Pioneer generation?

TheCatWoman

I ask this because as an older person (62) I feel that nobody knows what to do with us as we age, help thats right for children isn't right for us, what will happen when we start getting age related conditions like dementia? Will we be tested as an NT person, will the tests be adapted for us? I mean it's no good putting down communication difficulties as a sign of cognitive decline when someones always had them?

How will we be accomodated in a care home? Will we be pushed in front of the telly that we hate, made to do sing songs to music that upsets us, will we just be seen as difficult and treated with a chemical cosh?

Will our generation be the ones where all the mistakes and abuses are made, whereby it will get better for those who are now in their 20's and 30's?

Do you think we should start agitating now and trying to put these questions forward before it's to late and we're unable to advocate for ourselves or each other?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    UTIs can really hit hard can't they. They can bring on delirium which can be confused as dementia. I expect she was relieved to get home and grateful for her sons support. 

  • in reply to JLyn

    I don't have much trust in desicion makers after they all had a meeting about my friends Mum without telling the family, we only found out be accident because we went to vist her that day, my friend was a psycho geriatric nurse at the time working on a ward that assessed people for dementia and other other similar problems. He had to fight to get heard and to take his Mum away from thier "care", she didn't need to be in a care home and wasn't demented and had been looking after herself quite well until laid low by a UTI, there was no real reason to expect she wouldn't make a full recovery.

  • You can write an Advanced Statement which decision makers have to take into account if you lose mental capacity and they are planning your care.

    It's not legally binding but they do have to take it into account. 

    So you can explain preferences about  needing to be more isolated and not in a room with lots of others due to autism etc.

  • in reply to Lotus

    No, you didn't sound flippant, it's good to have a laugh about this stuff and I can understand why you don't want to have to think about it.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Sorry if my reply sounded a bit flippant, Cat. I was just trying to inject a bit of humour into what is a pretty depressing scenario. 

    Personally, I prefer not to think about it until it happens as I want to try to enjoy the years I've got left while I'm still relatively ok.

  • in reply to Paper

    We probably have had a similar discussion before, but apart from what music we may like or not like in our care homes, nobody seems to want to engage with the subject, which is a shame as it's an important one.

    Paper, it's not a nice thought that death will probably come at your own hand, but one I'm familiar with, being allergic to painkillers except paracetamol, any illness will be painful and I'm unwilling to spend my last months in agony, I don't care what palliative care specialists say, there no help for me and they know it.

    But I could well feel as Paper does if I had to go into a care home, I can see myself being one of those patients, who resists, probably violently if somebody tries to make me do something I don't want to do. I'm worried about my food probelms not being catered for, and there being no proper coffee!

    From what I've heard staff go to great lengths to stop people being disruptive, like bringing in ghetto blasters and playing Prodigy, I'd prefer that to being force fed Abba and I will not be on the dance floor for 70's disco nights.

  • I'm only 42 and I also worry about this.  Only 1 out my 4 of my own Grandparents needed to move into a care home. So there's a chance I won't either.  And if I do, I'm sure I will be able to find a private spot even in a care home.  A bedroom for example

  • in reply to Lotus

    Me and my Film night partner are just workng our way through "Waiting for God" atm.

    I really liked the few epoisodes I caught when it was fresh in my thirties, but I 'm really enjoying it now as I'm a bit older..

    Excellent selection of tunes. 

    There will be no "care home" for most of us. The younger generations can't (mostly) look out for themselves, let alone care for the despised "Boomers"... 

    This nation produces way less than it consumes now. And has done for quite a while.

  • I won't be able to cope in a care home. There is nobody in my life, so I don't really know what will happen to me if I ever become unable to look after myself. Killing myself may be the only viable option.

  • in reply to Lotus

    Spare a thought for my generation. We may not even see old-age. Expressionless

  • I think we had a discussion about this before?

    I'm going to be like Diana in "waiting for God" if I end up in a care home, being bolshy and bossing the staff around. If I don't like music they put on, I'll bring a ghetto blaster into the lounge playing something loud like "Anarchy in the UK" by the sex pistols or "Firestarter" by The Prodigy. If anyone complains, I'll explain that research shows that older people benefit from listening to the music of their youth, so this is my therapy!

    I'll also arrange 70s disco nights where those who can still walk can try dancing to Saturday night fever Joy

  • The care home is what I spend a stupid amount of time worrying about.