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Successful masking tips?

Danny
  1. I am an older ASD male from the States. I am wondering if anyone has tips for successful masking? My mom is also autistic, but she is someone quite the opposite of me. She has always been a non-demonstrative type. My friends were always afraid of her growing up. Somehow, I have taken the opposite path. I am overly familiar with others. It is something that even the culturally outgoing Americans cannot accept. Historically, I have tried masking my ASD with humor growing up and it came off as edgy. That's why I was able to pass. But, as one gets older, this type of humor is seen as mean-spirited. I am overly enthusiastic when meeting strangers and it is uncomfortable for others. Now, I am shunned by most. I often just stay home, even though I long to socialize with others. Can anyone share tips in masking techniques that have worked for them?
Parents

  • I read something today in my online course "Understanding Autism" that might resonate with you:

    "Bringing earlier ToM ( theory of mind) work together with research on emotion recognition, Baron-Cohen proposed that autistic people may have difficulty with empathising – recognising or understanding other people’s emotions, and reacting appropriately, leading to their difficulties in interacting with other people, making friends, and so on. At the same time, they may be strongly drawn to subject matter governed by systems or rules, leading to an interest in fields like physics, mathematics and technology, and in fact any domain which can be approached in a systematic rule-like way, which Baron-Cohen termed systemising (Baron-Cohen, 2009)."

     However, the systemising as described here is more often the male stereotype of autism - women on the spectrum (and some men) don't always have an interest in numbers, technology or science - they can have special interests that are more "typical" like animals or fashion - but with more intensity than is usual, and they "systemise" by collecting and arranging information or objects relating to their interest.

  • in reply to Lotus

    I think that he does not feel as strongly about this idea as he used to. And a lot of autistics don't agree with it - it's a very NT point of view, rather than trying to see things from our point of view. Are arguments against presented on your course? It sounds interesting.

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