• Replies 21 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 1581 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Successful masking tips?

Danny
  1. I am an older ASD male from the States. I am wondering if anyone has tips for successful masking? My mom is also autistic, but she is someone quite the opposite of me. She has always been a non-demonstrative type. My friends were always afraid of her growing up. Somehow, I have taken the opposite path. I am overly familiar with others. It is something that even the culturally outgoing Americans cannot accept. Historically, I have tried masking my ASD with humor growing up and it came off as edgy. That's why I was able to pass. But, as one gets older, this type of humor is seen as mean-spirited. I am overly enthusiastic when meeting strangers and it is uncomfortable for others. Now, I am shunned by most. I often just stay home, even though I long to socialize with others. Can anyone share tips in masking techniques that have worked for them?
Parents

  • Hi Danny and welcome.

    For me, masking wasn't really much help. I did better with friendships after I learned to be myself more, perhaps because I started to appear more genuine. I do have a sense of humour, but I don't use it all the time, just if it's relevant to the current situation or discussion. Perhaps you have been trying too hard to be liked? I think that's common for those of us on the spectrum, so it's nothing to feel bad about. I also used to talk at length about a special interest until people's eyes glazed over, now I listen more and ask them questions to see if we have common interests that can be discussed at length.

  • in reply to Lotus

    I DEFINITELY overtalk my special subject (it's statecraft and economics). I have always been perplexed that since these are a part of everyone's daily existence, more people were not as  interested as I. But, in reality it's apparently a very niche subject. Eyes glaze over almost immediately!!! :0(. I know that questions are the key! Thank u for reminding me. How do you prep yourself to engage in this way? Do you have a certain ritual or technique for preparing your mind and mouth?

  • in reply to Danny

    I just practised with my colleagues, and reminded myself in my head to stop and ask a question if I felt I was getting carried away. I also had to remind myself that if someone mentioned the weather, it wasn't their special interest, it was just small talk, and so I shouldn't start actually talking about the weather, just say something like "yes, it is cold isn't it?"

Reply Children
No Data