• Replies 21 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 1581 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Successful masking tips?

Danny
  1. I am an older ASD male from the States. I am wondering if anyone has tips for successful masking? My mom is also autistic, but she is someone quite the opposite of me. She has always been a non-demonstrative type. My friends were always afraid of her growing up. Somehow, I have taken the opposite path. I am overly familiar with others. It is something that even the culturally outgoing Americans cannot accept. Historically, I have tried masking my ASD with humor growing up and it came off as edgy. That's why I was able to pass. But, as one gets older, this type of humor is seen as mean-spirited. I am overly enthusiastic when meeting strangers and it is uncomfortable for others. Now, I am shunned by most. I often just stay home, even though I long to socialize with others. Can anyone share tips in masking techniques that have worked for them?
Parents Reply Children
  • in reply to SpikeyMark

    Thx Mark. I do tend to try smiling. I may OVER do it. I am a bit over the top with the enthusiasm. That's what causes people to feel uncomfortable, I think? I am not trying to be that way to overcompensate, it's just my ASD coming out. 

  • in reply to SpikeyMark

    Danny, I guess it depends on what we mean by masking? I see masking essentially as 'unseen effort', more typical of girls and women but also something that autistic men do. My son is an autistic teenager who spent a long time masking his unrecognised autism. Do you think maybe letting people know that, as an autistic person, you may read situations differently and it will be helpful to be open about different perspectives, especially with friends? I have an autistic client who, in my work context, always used to come to my office with a coffee for me as well as for her. She was amazed that this was not 'normal'. But I learned that this kind of reciprocity is often important for ASD people because it is normal; it's what you do when you meet new people! So, I'd consider not masking but communicating more - and maybe even expecting more of other people who need to meet you half way, perhaps? Hope that helps. Neill