I’m worried about my daughter

In my case I’m the autistic parent and my daughter… hmm probably neurotypical child. It’s too early to say, but there are things that make me worried. 
- tantrums - whenever I refuse something (second piece of chocolate for example) or I ask her to do something she doesn’t want or like, there is a tantrum. I always try creative ways to encourage her to do the thing that she has to do. For example brushing teeth. I try first by brushing them myself and I give her the brush and ask her to do it like me. But it’s not working. Then I try it with a doll - pretend that I brush the dolls teeth or that the doll is watching her doing it. I also try punishment/prise method - if you don’t wash your teeth, we will not go to playground for whole week. I also try reasoning with her- if you don’t brush your teeth then they will get dark and ugly and the dentist will drill in them and it’s painful. Nothing works. She is almost 3, she has soft toothbrush special for children and I’m wondering is it possible that she is so sensitive even to this toothbrush that it prevents her from brushing teeth? When she is in rage, she punches me, or herself, she bites and scratches me. Otherwise she is an intelligent and lovely child. Developing properly, milestones such as talking, walking, potty training- all done correctly. I had some delays there as a toddler. 
- second thing that worries me is her sensitivity to sound. We are living in a 5 story building, on the second floor. If someone slams the main entrance door, she gets scared and runs to me for hugs. Is it maybe because she doesn’t know what is this sound. On the other hand it does not bother her at all, when she slams the door herself. My husband says that her reaction may be somehow subconsciously repeated my reaction to noise. Her screams for example. I explained him how I struggle with the noise she creates and he understands it. 
I’m not sure, if anyone can help me a bit, suggest some solution, if someone is in similar situation. What should I do? Tomorrow my husband is going to speak to her paediatrician about this issue. Especially the tantrums and issues with brushing teeth. 
Any thoughts or advice will be appreciated. Sorry, it’s a long post. 

Parents
  • Hi. How did it go with the paediatrician?

    I have two children and both are autistic. They are 16 and 22 now. They both have had troubles. It is so hard knowing that their paths will be harder being autistic.

    All I have tried to do is try and support them as much as I can and use all the strategies that I use on myself. Their and my problems with making friends has been especially hard. I figure that it will be okay as long as they find their tribe.

    My son has got into going to clubs that interest him and that he enjoys. My daughter has a few friends and that is enough for her to feel accepted and loved.

    It was never going to happen that they would be non-autistic, because of my family's genes going way back. Undiagnosed, but my definitely autistic parents and grandparents.

Reply
  • Hi. How did it go with the paediatrician?

    I have two children and both are autistic. They are 16 and 22 now. They both have had troubles. It is so hard knowing that their paths will be harder being autistic.

    All I have tried to do is try and support them as much as I can and use all the strategies that I use on myself. Their and my problems with making friends has been especially hard. I figure that it will be okay as long as they find their tribe.

    My son has got into going to clubs that interest him and that he enjoys. My daughter has a few friends and that is enough for her to feel accepted and loved.

    It was never going to happen that they would be non-autistic, because of my family's genes going way back. Undiagnosed, but my definitely autistic parents and grandparents.

Children
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