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Why sm i so angry that i was diagnosed as an adult and not when i was younger

fernminion95

i was diagnosed at 29 with autism, i have reached the anger stage of acceptance, i am not sure why i am so angry i think it is because if i was diagnosed earlier i may of received the help i needed at school and people would of treated me differently instead of bullying me, i went my whole life being bullied for being different, i also have fibromyalgia now so that doesn't help, i struggle to make friends i just keep myself to myself and do my work, does anyone have any advice, how did you feel when you were diagnosed later on in life. 

Parents

  • To answer your question: because you choose to be.

    It might not feel like a choice but effectively it is. You feel this way because you don’t choose to feel something else. And you perhaps could. It’s far from easy, but you might.

    I find that trying to develop a sense of mindfulness about my own neurodivergent life is a useful tool. When I’m getting frustrated or angry or anxious I try to remember to stop myself and take note that it is often my choice to feel this way, or rather to let myself continue to follow what is my default neurodivergent behaviour. Sometimes, as a result, I can choose to change that behaviour. Sometimes I can’t, but even then, realising that helps.

    Its a bit like “Yeah, we’re going to do this anxiety thing, but it’s because my mind is behaving divergently’.

    Also, when you reflect on what’s happened in the past, try not to seek to place blame too much, either on yourself or others. Things happened and they cannot be changed. They are now a part of your story so try to accept that and build on it. There are usually positives you can build on. You suffered through an undiagnosed autistic childhood. That means you are strong. You’ve been diagnosed as a young adult. That means you have a large part of your adult life ahead of you to build on that strength. You’re managing a health condition, so you’re a coper. I wonder what else you can do?

Reply

  • To answer your question: because you choose to be.

    It might not feel like a choice but effectively it is. You feel this way because you don’t choose to feel something else. And you perhaps could. It’s far from easy, but you might.

    I find that trying to develop a sense of mindfulness about my own neurodivergent life is a useful tool. When I’m getting frustrated or angry or anxious I try to remember to stop myself and take note that it is often my choice to feel this way, or rather to let myself continue to follow what is my default neurodivergent behaviour. Sometimes, as a result, I can choose to change that behaviour. Sometimes I can’t, but even then, realising that helps.

    Its a bit like “Yeah, we’re going to do this anxiety thing, but it’s because my mind is behaving divergently’.

    Also, when you reflect on what’s happened in the past, try not to seek to place blame too much, either on yourself or others. Things happened and they cannot be changed. They are now a part of your story so try to accept that and build on it. There are usually positives you can build on. You suffered through an undiagnosed autistic childhood. That means you are strong. You’ve been diagnosed as a young adult. That means you have a large part of your adult life ahead of you to build on that strength. You’re managing a health condition, so you’re a coper. I wonder what else you can do?

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