Why sm i so angry that i was diagnosed as an adult and not when i was younger

Hi there, also welcome.

I'm 46 and was only diagnosed this year, I've spent my entire life lost in hopeless depression as a result of feeling isolated and alone, only now am I starting to find strategies to cope.

A large reason for this was being fired from my career job for "gross misconduct" which felt so incredibly unfair and disproportionate. I couldn't resolve that feeling because it never made sense to me, I continually was asking myself WHY?.

Now though, that whole incident 16 years ago makes perfect sense when viewed through an Autistic filter. My actions made perfect autistic sense, it was the most effective choice in the situation.

I think having a diagnosis back then would have saved my job, and I would have a radically different life to what I have now. Maybe better.

I think it reasonable, like yourself, to see our misunderstood past, and all the anguish and unhappiness which could have been avoided as a result of a better society, with anger and frustration.

As I explained during my daughter's final meeting at her highschool before she left for homeschooling (as a result of school not being able to provide a safe and nurturing space for a neurodiverse person). I consider now, 2024 the same for the NeuroD as it was for Gays during the 1980s - although technically it was against the law to discriminate, society, underpinned by a discriminatory culture, allowed gay people to be degraded.

How could a 1980s school control homophobia when Del Boy on Only Fools and Horses was making jokes about "poofters" the night before?

So sadly, I think we are the martyrs who have to have childhoods badly effected by ignorance so society can move on.

I honestly think it is moving on - keep strong sister  

Hi there, also welcome.

I'm 46 and was only diagnosed this year, I've spent my entire life lost in hopeless depression as a result of feeling isolated and alone, only now am I starting to find strategies to cope.

A large reason for this was being fired from my career job for "gross misconduct" which felt so incredibly unfair and disproportionate. I couldn't resolve that feeling because it never made sense to me, I continually was asking myself WHY?.

Now though, that whole incident 16 years ago makes perfect sense when viewed through an Autistic filter. My actions made perfect autistic sense, it was the most effective choice in the situation.

I think having a diagnosis back then would have saved my job, and I would have a radically different life to what I have now. Maybe better.

I think it reasonable, like yourself, to see our misunderstood past, and all the anguish and unhappiness which could have been avoided as a result of a better society, with anger and frustration.

As I explained during my daughter's final meeting at her highschool before she left for homeschooling (as a result of school not being able to provide a safe and nurturing space for a neurodiverse person). I consider now, 2024 the same for the NeuroD as it was for Gays during the 1980s - although technically it was against the law to discriminate, society, underpinned by a discriminatory culture, allowed gay people to be degraded.

How could a 1980s school control homophobia when Del Boy on Only Fools and Horses was making jokes about "poofters" the night before?

So sadly, I think we are the martyrs who have to have childhoods badly effected by ignorance so society can move on.

I honestly think it is moving on - keep strong sister