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Feel so alone, don't belong. Anyone else feel this way?

DifferentNotDefective
2 hours ago

Hey all...

Didn't know I was autistic until recently in adulthood. People all my life have been manipulative and cruel, using me, so struggle with trust and never felt like I belong anywhere. I work from home and try to keep myself busy out of work - but when you're always on your own you start to wonder what's the point. Have tried volunteering and evening classes etc. but think I'm just too broken as don't gel with anyone, while everyone else seems to gets on with each other. I don't want the rest of my life to be like this, it's so empty and lonely . Does anyone else feel this way? How do you cope? 

Parents
  • 2 hours ago

    I felt like this until I went to therapy and became friends with myself.

    First thing to go was the feeling no one wanted to be with me and that I was faulty.

    this was far from true, I discovered. Mostly my delivery and way of engaging had me half out the door before I was let in.

    I did not think they would like me if they got to know me and so I did not give them the chance

    Next to go was the inability to perceive when I was being played. I became distrustful of even sincere advances towards friendship.

    After therapy I felt more confident in myself and did not need the approval of others so, when

    someone was nice a sweet but it 'felt' off (from y new confident vantage point) I could walk away from the exchange.

    after that, and many other misconceptions I had about myself began to dissolve

    and I was able to be friends with myself in genuine way.

    I also began to study Buddhism and began to understand the benefits of meditation.

    Now I have friends and am unapologetic about who I am. And who I perceive myself to be is part of making lasting, sincere, friends.

    So, in a walnut shell make friends with who you are and the rest will follow.

Reply
  • 2 hours ago

    I felt like this until I went to therapy and became friends with myself.

    First thing to go was the feeling no one wanted to be with me and that I was faulty.

    this was far from true, I discovered. Mostly my delivery and way of engaging had me half out the door before I was let in.

    I did not think they would like me if they got to know me and so I did not give them the chance

    Next to go was the inability to perceive when I was being played. I became distrustful of even sincere advances towards friendship.

    After therapy I felt more confident in myself and did not need the approval of others so, when

    someone was nice a sweet but it 'felt' off (from y new confident vantage point) I could walk away from the exchange.

    after that, and many other misconceptions I had about myself began to dissolve

    and I was able to be friends with myself in genuine way.

    I also began to study Buddhism and began to understand the benefits of meditation.

    Now I have friends and am unapologetic about who I am. And who I perceive myself to be is part of making lasting, sincere, friends.

    So, in a walnut shell make friends with who you are and the rest will follow.

Children
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