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Where do you turn for support?

NAS96052
7 hours ago

Good morning 

  • Recently diagnosed in my 50's but have always known I was different.  I feel very alone with this new information. I can't even begin to describe the anguish I feel. Definitely feel like a failure and angry at everything I could have achieved had I been 'normal'. I don't think I have ever been the real me, I've always been the person people expect to see if that makes sense. Life has declined significantly over the last few weeks. Meltdowns are more frequent and severe resulting in days in bed,  my brain appears to have turned to mush, I can't perform the simplest of tasks, depression is severe. I don't know how to change to make life easier. Only advice after diagnosis was to join a support group and read about the condition. Feel very, I can't even put it into words, abandoned and isolated possibly. GP is fantastic but I feel extremely guilty taking up so much of his time. How do you get out of this huge hole and live?
  • I only have 2 teenage daughters at home and no other support from family. It's so hard.
Parents
  • 2 hours ago

    During the period following a diagnosis, it can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience emotional dysregulation. So please don't worry, this is normal! It can include working through a phase where we experience (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more. 

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    NAS- Depression

    NAS - Meltdowns

    In terms of what to do next, my advice at this point (ie soon after your diagnosis) would be to try and give yourself some time and breathing space to process and absorb everything that you've been through, and let your feelings settle down.

    For me, as for many others here, my diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of ready-made solutions for my various difficulties.  

    Therapy is often recommended after a diagnosis. You might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful, myself included:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Reply
  • 2 hours ago

    During the period following a diagnosis, it can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience emotional dysregulation. So please don't worry, this is normal! It can include working through a phase where we experience (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more. 

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    NAS- Depression

    NAS - Meltdowns

    In terms of what to do next, my advice at this point (ie soon after your diagnosis) would be to try and give yourself some time and breathing space to process and absorb everything that you've been through, and let your feelings settle down.

    For me, as for many others here, my diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of ready-made solutions for my various difficulties.  

    Therapy is often recommended after a diagnosis. You might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful, myself included:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

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