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Late diagnosis and 'The Label'

NAS96406

At 55 and menopausal, I've just received my autism diagnosis. I'm also likely have ADHD but am not yet diagnosed. So far, my husband and brother are the only ones that know - my husband because he lives with me and all my moods, and my brother because he once wondered if he was autistic too. 

I am in the process of informing myself about this. However, first and foremost, I am struggling with the label 'autistic'. I've always had a trouble with labels (from 'loser' in my school years to 'she's an odd one' later on). Thankfully, my parents avoided the 'she's the clever/odd/pretty one' sort of categorization I've heard others use, so I've been free to define myself. They've just accepted me for who I am.

However, it now feels like I've got a big fat label stuck to my forehead. It oversimplifies the complex creature I feel myself to be - good, bad and indifferent combined. I don't want to be dealt with through this prism of understanding, the 'She's autistic, so that explains why she's overemotional/analytical/socially awkward/reserved/overly blunt' sort of thinking.

I now realize that I am suffering from autism burnout, but don't want to use that as an excuse for the meltdowns I've had. I don't want to have to explain who I am, which is just as exhausting as pretending I'm okay. Oversharing has consequences, I have found. 

Your thoughts would be most welcome. 

Parents

  • i totally know what you mean about th e label which is partly why i never told anyone but an autistic friend suggested i should "come out" as he found it useful but its not me...  I feel odd enough as it is without having an actual name for people to stick on me.  I get "what is wrong with you" or "your different" or "youre uumm, odd"  from people but i just let them wonder. So each to their own i think. I feel it draws attention to me with the lable which is something i definitely want to avoid. Be who you want to be. xx

  • in reply to Pipe

    I agree the we all need to do what works for us as individuals. We all have different backgrounds and would have differing levels of acceptance.

    • I'm out as autistic big time amongst family
    • My NT friends just know, but it's never really mentioned
    • I have the gold infinity sign on my Facebook, but never mention anything about it
    • I probably won't bring it up at all in work situations and medical situations
    • I'm full blown autistic here, and in my local autistic group.

    Hey, we could say that coming out is like a spectrum, with a spikey profile! (kidding, but it's kind of true)

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  • in reply to Pipe

    I agree the we all need to do what works for us as individuals. We all have different backgrounds and would have differing levels of acceptance.

    • I'm out as autistic big time amongst family
    • My NT friends just know, but it's never really mentioned
    • I have the gold infinity sign on my Facebook, but never mention anything about it
    • I probably won't bring it up at all in work situations and medical situations
    • I'm full blown autistic here, and in my local autistic group.

    Hey, we could say that coming out is like a spectrum, with a spikey profile! (kidding, but it's kind of true)

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