Published on 12, July, 2020
A not so quick intro. Been married for 20yrs, have children, have a good job. I seemly make friends quite easily. I have a life that a many of austistic men would be quite satisfied with.
Apparently I wrong about most of the above. After several conversations with my wife (which we both discovered I was austistic after being married for a decade) my evaluation of myself and my life appears to wrong.
My wife feels unloved, and unable to speak with me. Essentially emotionally abandoned. My kids are afraid of me or don't "like" being around me. And I really only have 1 close friend, who I can't bring myself to talk too honestly about my situation, so how close of a friend could he be?
Not sure why I'm writing this. Maybe I'm looking for suggestions regarding how I can draw closer to my wife and kids and how can I deal with this crushing realization that my life isn't what I think it is?
Hi, it’s a difficult situation. Have you asked your wife what she loves you for? What made her choose you? Maybe this question would be inappropriate, I don’t know, just suggesting. Did she tell you she feels unloved only after discovering that you are autistic or earlier too? It’s a broad topic and I do t know what issues exactly you both are facing, but I think maybe encouraging her to read about autism would help her understand you better (if you didn’t try yet). I also have issues in my marriage, but I always try to communicate clearly, verbally and honestly, maybe in some situations you both could work out some compromise. Have you tried consulting a therapist? I wish you luck.