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Do you find yourself easily latching onto a "safe" person?

HMO

This could be anyone, and I've found in my experience they don't have to be neurodivergent either.

At school, there were teachers who offered support and things like that but I always felt intimidated by it. Things have changed particularly over the last year or so though.

I'm in my late 20s. I see a therapist each week and earlier in the year I latched onto her quite intensely, seeing her as a maternal figure. I had no friends in my life at that time; I'd lost them all the year prior and feared being abandoned again. It has lessened slightly but at the same time, it's still there in the same way. Obviously I know of the obvious boundary, which I don't intend to cross.

I've started a little film & TV production bootcamp and there is someone there who's basically on top of wellbeing and, to use her words, "a shoulder to cry on if you need it". I never felt like I had that in any other sort of academic institution type place. The same person interviewed me so I'm already comfortable with them.

It's a difficult one, because I think it's right that support comes from different areas, but I do seem to have a habit of latching onto people who may not be emotionally available in the way I may want.

Parents

  • I would say yes for me. On the occasions where I've had to go to social gatherings, I always zero in on one person I'm familiar with and try and talk to them for the whole time, but I also understand that everyone else doesn't do that so it makes me feel a bit weird. I once went to a music session my friend was hosting and wanted to go because I thought I would enjoy it and support them, but I dreaded going to a bar and sitting on my own looking alone and strange. So I organised going with another friend - neither knew at the time I "engineered" it so I made it more comfortable for me, but I would have felt incredibly isolated and unconfident if I didn't.

    Generally I will try to figure out which person seems like the nicest person to talk to or is the most sympathetic, I don't like people who are loud or overconfident. 

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  • I would say yes for me. On the occasions where I've had to go to social gatherings, I always zero in on one person I'm familiar with and try and talk to them for the whole time, but I also understand that everyone else doesn't do that so it makes me feel a bit weird. I once went to a music session my friend was hosting and wanted to go because I thought I would enjoy it and support them, but I dreaded going to a bar and sitting on my own looking alone and strange. So I organised going with another friend - neither knew at the time I "engineered" it so I made it more comfortable for me, but I would have felt incredibly isolated and unconfident if I didn't.

    Generally I will try to figure out which person seems like the nicest person to talk to or is the most sympathetic, I don't like people who are loud or overconfident. 

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