Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello to everyone,
If something similar has been discussed on here previously I am sorry but I can't find anything similar. I am autistic mother of 6 years old girl. She is social, clever and happy little girl who likes to play with other children very much.
I struggle with social aspects of parenting. I don't want her to miss out due to my disability but sometimes I just can't do things with her. She then gets upset and frustrated.
My question is: when should I tell my daughter that I am autistic? And how? How can I explain to her that I struggle a lot with talking, meeting people and so on? Please if someone is or has been in similar situation may I ask for advice?
I sometimes just want to tell her that I cannot do some things with her because I am autistic but I don't want her to worry about it and I don't know if it's appropriate for her to know that at her age?
Any advice would be very much appreciated.
Yes absolutely I think it’s wise to tell her about this, the earlier you can introduce it the less it’s going to be a “groundbreaking revelation” for her. A book like “I see things differently” (I’m not too sure what the best books are, I’m sure the NAS team would have some recommendations) to introduce the concept and mention that you also have this/feel similarly. It might also be useful to point out some similarities and differences between you and how the character in the book experiences being autistic to help her understand it’s a very wide spectrum and we don’t fully know what’s happening in people’s brains.
Introducing it as soon as possible in as normalising/relaxed way as you can will also help if she’s got classmates that are autistic (which statistically she does), reduce the risk of her building resentment towards you for not being able to do things, and if she is also autistic it could give her the tools to be able to share her own experiences (as autism is genetically linked there is a possibility) and access support earlier.
Oh thank you very much. I have just found the book on YouTube. It's brilliant I think.