Do Autistic adults understand emotional connection?

I am married to an ASD man.

I talk about my unmet emotional needs and he doesn't understand when I talk about the lack of connection.

He just talks about whether I am meeting his unmet needs which are just idealistic and not a basic need.

Can anyone help?  Am I fighting a losing battle?  Is an emotional connection not possible in an ND relationship?

Parents
  • In my marriage, I'm the autistic husband and my wife is (I assume) the NT one. I absolutely want an emotional and loving connection with her - the same as I want to feel valid friendships and connections with other people. I just may not know exactly how to achieve that and can feel lost and scared when I think I can't. Luckily, my relationship with my wife is, for the most part, happy and stable.

    Like others have suggested, I believe there is some kind of breakdown in communication in your relationship. I'm not assigning any blame to either side, because you're right you are also entitled to feel like you should be supported. It is a two way street though, and it won't be an easy conversation for either of you, all depending on what you both want.

Reply
  • In my marriage, I'm the autistic husband and my wife is (I assume) the NT one. I absolutely want an emotional and loving connection with her - the same as I want to feel valid friendships and connections with other people. I just may not know exactly how to achieve that and can feel lost and scared when I think I can't. Luckily, my relationship with my wife is, for the most part, happy and stable.

    Like others have suggested, I believe there is some kind of breakdown in communication in your relationship. I'm not assigning any blame to either side, because you're right you are also entitled to feel like you should be supported. It is a two way street though, and it won't be an easy conversation for either of you, all depending on what you both want.

Children
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